Well I've got myself in a big mess... I was dating a woman since March. Things were going well. She freaked me out when she wanted me to get her a place. So I backed off a little. She dumped me last month because I work out of town for long periods of time. She couldn't handle it.
So I got involved with someone else. One of the greatest women I have ever met. She is very skittish about getting into any relationships right now. Which I respect fully. But I have fallen into , well can't say Love, but its something. She keeps herself at a great distance from me emotionally. She feeds me little bites about how she feels. Almost speaks in a code like. Very hard to explain.
Well now heres the problem. The old girlfriend has started calling me again. Acts like we are still together.I don't know how to handle Either of these women. The one I want to have a relationship keeps pushing and pulling me in different directions. The one I was glad to break up with won't let go. Bottom line is I feel no matter what I do I end up alone...This just sucks....
the one you fell stronger for give hger room and the one that wont let go tell her what you fell let her know that you are seeing someone else and make it clear that you dont want to be with her
My thoughts on this.. get seriously involved with neither of them.
At this point, from what you've shared.. you're torn between two different ladies. The first one dumped you and now is acting like you're still together, and the second is still skittish per your words.
At this point, assuming there is nothing else in your life that could be affecting your ability to give 100% to a relationship.. I would take the time to yourself and make absolutely sure that one of the two is the 'one' for you, or determine that neither are. Rushing into something like this is a good way to run into a wall.
Push/pull effect is quite common in many different forms. If you don't like the feeling of being pulled like that, tell her in no uncertain terms. Do not hint at it, hinting leads to misinterpretation. As for the one that you're mentioning is skittish and doesn't feel as if she can open up emotionally and be 'closer' to you in that respect, let her know that you see it and ask her why she is doing it. If she refuses to share why she's doing it, it'll give you something to think about. If she explains why she is doing it, it could provide a bit more insight as to which one may be the 'right one', if either are.
I agree with stepping back from both of them at this moment. Give yourself some space and see how you feel about the one you are dating now. As far as the one who broke up with you, you said you were glad she did, so that's a "no brainer". You just have to make it perfectly clear that it's over. She obviously can't take a hint. JMO Good Luck.
My opinion would be to at least step back from both of them for awhile and see how you feel after stepping out of the middle. I would even explain to both of them that you need a "break" to figure out your feelings. You have to do what your gut tells you, but sometimes it's difficult to figure out just what it's saying when you are caught up in the "crisis" of the moment.
Neither is worthy of you. One sounds like a "stalker"...the other sounds like she's "unstable", but I'm sure they are wonderful women or YOU wouldn't have dated either of them. Let them go.
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