tears of a dead man (4)

as you are laying there with your head on my chest listening to my heart beat and knowing what is going to happen.knowing in your heart that their is nothing you could do to stop it from happening,all you could do is stand by and watch it happen.you remember when i first told you i love you and you told me about how you been waiting for me to say those words to you.


how you waited until i will open up my heart and let your love in.how on the day i told you i love you i gave you my heart and the love that my heart holds for you,you remember back when you listen to my heart beating out love for you,you remember back when you was being told and prepare when a night like this will come.you remember on that day how you was told and you really didn't understand what was being said to you,



but you said you could handle it.but you really was not prepare as it was coming close,as you listen to my heart beat and it slow down and stop a couple of times,that i was entering the darkness and soon i will be climing the mountain to look across the valley of shadow of death to look across and see Jesus standing there saying no it is not time to cross over.you knew i would be asking Jesus why not.you became afraid when my heart stop and i was crossing over to heaven.



than i stop and look down and i heard you pray Lord on this night let your will be done,not mine will,but Lord i do love him and i do need him.as i stood there between this world and heaven i look down and i saw your tears falling on my chest and i wonder why you was crying,for you knew this night will come and you knew what could happen.but you said you love me and you wanted to be with me no matter what.watching you with your head still on my chest knowing that my heart has stop and i am no longer there.



as i stood there between heavne and this earth i ask Jesus once more who needs me and whose life will i make a differts in.Jesus look down at you and said can you not see she loves you and she needs you and she will take you any way she can.i stood there looking down at you as you was crying cause you thought you lost me.


i look down and remember the day i gave my heart to you and knew in my heart that 1 day you will leave me that you would not be able to be with me long.you said no that you will be with me forever.but you knew in your heart my words was true and 1 day you will leave me.as you lay there with your head still on my chest you felt something wet on your shoulder and you look into my eyes and you saw tears coming out of my eyes.


but you wonder how it could be cause my heart is not beating but yet as you watch tears was coming out of my eyes.than my heart started beating again and i look into your eyes and said i love you,as i held you in my arms you was crying in my arms and as you held me in your arms i was crying.


how little did we know 1 week from that night when i came to see you,with tears in your eyes you said that you was sorry that you could not be with me no more.that you love me and you will always will.but you cannot handle being with someone who you could lose and there is nothing you could do about it,



even if you did know what you was getting into.you thought you could handle it but that night taught you that you could not handle being with someone like me,who you could lose and not being able to do anything about it,as i held you in my arms while you was crying on my shoulder i told you i understand and remember i told you on that first day we said i love you to each other that this day will come and now it has.








but i am put into remembrance of that night i held you last in my arms,now i understand why God sent you to me that night.for he had bless me on that night with one of his angels

as i near half way to the top of the mountain
i feel the rain drops as they hit my skin
but they are burning a hole through to my soul
than i remember they are not rain drops
but they are tears of angels as they cry for me



i know when i reach half way
my demons will be waiting
on a plateau where i will meet them one more
with no angels around me
with my defenses down
where they will be allow to
torment and terrorize me once more
of things in the past,present and future


where once more the battle
between life and death will be fought
where no one will be allow to interfere
not God nor any angels,nor any human beings
for no one will be allow
to be by my side as i face my demons once more
no one will know who won until after the battle
has been fought once more
i will either live to fight for another day
or the angels will come once more to carry me home


now the time is coming
i am put into remembrance this time is differt
for God has not bless me with one of his angel
there is no one eyes to look into
there is no one heart beat to feel against mine
there is no tear drop to fall
there is no eyes to look into
to know in my soul that i am
looking into the eyes of the angel
that was heaven sent for me

that is beautiful z