Employer/Employee Lingo (9)
Pretty sick ...isn't it?
------ This thread is Archived ------
------ This thread is Archived ------
wow that is so true
------ This thread is Archived ------
who could ask for anything more
------ This thread is Archived ------
Well Said, 
------ This thread is Archived ------
This would be funny if it weren't so sad. I've worked for most of these employers, what am I taling about I still do! 
------ This thread is Archived ------
This Thread is Archived
This Thread is archived, so you will no longer be able to post to it. Threads get archived automatically when they are older than 3 months.
« Go back to All Threads
« Go back to All Threads
More Threads
Unions support Democrats!
other can see but not you
Sleepy Don!
men's perspective towards women
Ladies
Happy Birthday MysteriousGirl80
the way you look
wanting beyond need
Feel Good Music
your personality
More Threads
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
Stats for this Thread
1,285 Views
8 Comments
Created: Jan 2007
Last Viewed: 10 hrs ago
Last Commented: Mar 2007
0 Likes
Employer Lingo:
"Competitive Salary"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"Join Our Fast-Paced Team"
We have no time to train you.
"Casual Work Atmosphere"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
"Must be Deadline Oriented"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"Some Overtime Required"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"Duties Will Vary"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"Must Have an Eye For Detail"
We have no quality control.
"Career-Minded"
Female applicants must be childless and remain that way.
"Apply in Person"
If you're old, fat, or ugly, you'll be told the position has been filled.
"No Phone Calls Please"
We've filled the job. Our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"Seeking Candidates With a Wide Variety of Experience"
You'll need it to replace the three people who just left.
"Problem-Solving Skills a Must"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"Requires Team Leadership Skills"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"Good Communication Skills"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want, and do it.
Employee's Lingo:
"I'm extremely adept at all manner of office organization"
I've used Microsoft Office.
"I'm honest, hardworking and dependable"
I pilfer office supplies.
"My pertinent work experience includes..."
I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.
"I take pride in my work"
I blame others for my mistakes.
"I'm personable"
I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to coworkers.
"I'm extremely professional"
I carry a Day-Timer.
"I am adaptable"
I've changed jobs a lot.
"I am on the go"
I'm never at my desk.
"I'm highly motivated to succeed"
The minute I find a better job, I'm outta there.