For the broken hearted ( Archived) (3)

For those that have had their heart broken..

I am going to go out on a limb and share a story, read or don't read totally your choice of course but, I did learn something that may help you if you have been there and experienced that.

Was in a relationship for a couple of years, I loved this guy and thought that he loved me as well.
One night, I went to pick my son up from college as his car was on the blink, on my way home I got every single traffic light green which I thought so odd at the time as I had never gotten all of them green during that time of the evening but it did occur to me how odd it was that I had gotten those.
I dropped my son off at his place and when I arrived at my house there in the doorway stood this woman kissing the man that I thought that I loved.
For some reason she didn't scoot out of there in time before I got home. I didn't yell at her ( she most likely didn't know what was going on ) as it was his fault as he probably told her all sorts of lies including being single.
I did inform her that he was a cheater and that she just cheated with him on me.She left crying.
To say I was heartbroken is putting it mildly but I got what I could fit into my car and drove off to my sisters place ( I am blessed to have such a great sister, she has always picked me up and dusted me off then kicked me in the butt to move on ).
I went back the next day and got the rest of my stuff with my family's help.
I stayed with my sister until I had gotten the funds to move into my own place but, while at her house I was devastated, I cried and cried for a few days, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, wondering where the hell I had gone wrong to cause this then, it occured to me.
It could have been a bolt of lightening but the day was sunny as I sat on the steps crying my eyes out, it came to me that he didn't feel the same way and he wasn't hurting the same way so why was I hurting so badly?
And I realized, I had been in the relationship feeling those feelings by myself so why was I crying over something that really never was real.
It was only real in my heart and in my head, I stopped crying after realizing this as I felt stupid, I mean, how can you cry over something that never really was? It was all imaginary.
From that day forward years and years afterwards I have kept that bit of knowing tucked away for later use and it has served it's purpose.
I won't lie, it still hurts but, not so much once I ponder on what I have experienced and realized from the past.
It has made me stronger and I hope wiser, it still hurts when you really like or love someone and it goes boom! But, the chance is sometimes worth it as long as you learn from it.
xx