here's a funny joke ( Archived) (13)

Why are hurricanes named after women?

Cuz when they 'come' their wet and wild, and when they leave, they take your house and car with them.

OHHH>..WOW...GOT IT...WHEW...that one is good!!

There is a wonderful word we men use called "pre-nup"

Cute Mustang













George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

A few books have been written written too:

"The Russian Flood" - by Ivan Yurkinoff

"Trails In the Sand" - by Peter Dragin

"Living Alone" - by Jack Hoffmaster

I've been told alot more like these, but hell if I can remember them all.

Besides.... himicanes sounds stupid.

--------Redneck Computer Terms!----------------

BACKUP - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods.

BAR CODE - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern.

BUG - The reason you give for calling in sick.

BYTE - What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro.

CACHE - Needed when you run out of food stamps.

CHIP - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in.

TERMINAL - Time to call the undertaker.

CRASH - When you go to Junior's party uninvited.

DIGITAL - The art of counting on your fingers.

DISKETTE - Female Disco dancer.

FAX - What you lie about to the IRS.

HACKER - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking.

HARDCOPY - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos.

INTERNET - Where cafeteria workers put their hair.

KEYBOARD - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere.

MAC - Big Bubba's favorite fast food.

MEGAHERTZ - How your head feels after 17 beers.

MODEM - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall.

MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey and Minnie live.

NETWORK - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line.

ONLINE - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test.

ROM - Where the pope lives.

SCREEN - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch.

SERIAL PORT - A red wine you drink with breakfast.

SUPERCONDUCTOR - Amtrak's Employee of the year.

SCSI - What you call your week-old underwear.