Arrg! Anyone have a time machine I can borrow? ( Archived) (30)

Not that I think there is any huge interest in the subject or anything, but DAMN I get frustrated with "dating" sometimes!

I have met a number of men over the past while...and most of them are positively fantastic...probably have every quality a girl could "ask" for..BUT...too much of a good thing isn't always beneficial!!

Take caring/dedicated/giving for example...these are GREAT and DESIREABLE qualities...but what of the man who takes that to the extreme? From the very best places in his heart, and with the best of intentions...he SMOTHERS me with caring and dedication...he makes his ENTIRE life about me almost the second we've met...just can't WAIT to get in love and stay there...happy ever after...

I know this makes me sound a little bit hypocritical, since these would be the qualities (some of them anyways) that I would look for in a guy...but it is so damned hard to go from "single (long time now too!) hard working independent mother" to "loving dedicated wife" in a split second! I am my own worst enemy here! I have actually ended and sabotaged potential relationships because they were being shoved down my throat!

I want with all my BEING to be a wife/lover/mother/mate/partner...all of that....but I have been on my own long enough now that it will take some re-adjusting to get there...compromising as need be along the way...getting to know each other...falling in love....spending more and more time with each other...not first date then..."can't live another single minute without you at my side".

I was like that once...several of my long term relationships started out that way...and it was great! It just seems like now that I have my daughter...there are other factors to consider than lust...

I know...I am all over the place on this one...sorry to bore you trusty readers...I'm just frustrated...and keep thinking how nice it would be to fast forward into the future...when the trust, intimacy, familiarity, security...are already in place...the "right before being proposed to" stage, let's say...so my hard efforts can be put into making the marriage/relationship stay beautiful and eternal...Probably the hardest part, yes...but SO much less awkward and uncomfortable than the part I have to get through to get there! It could be compared to a slipper...I would much rather buy a slipper that is already worn and faded...so comfortable and moulded perfectly to my foot....than buy a brand new rigid and cold one....


THEN there's always the issue of my daughter...and when to introduce him to her...I would never want to bring people around who I didn't have a clear potential of being in a long-term relationship with...too confusing...and just not fair...But what if the guy is so eager that he just keeps saying " I just know you and I are going to be together forever...I may as well let her get used to me now"...I don't LIKE that!! Clearly it's not his child's wellbeing and comfort level that he is gambling!

Sorry for the ramble folks...I'm just in a weird period of my life....or something! Feel free to add on your perspectives as you see fit....and YES...I realize that I will never get the soulmate I am looking for without taking the risk and going through the experiences of getting to know each other...and letting the relationship develop.....but I don't have to LIKE it DAMNIT! LOL

SO....anyways....Can someone please invent a time machine and send it over my way? I would be forever greatful.


Sam

Take your own sweet time Sam..anyone who rushes you, isn't respecting you or your kids.

I know what you mean..

S

hello!

Ahh, if it to be that easy, eh?
May I ask how long you two have been?

"Risk" and "experience" in starting a new relationship is far different than compromising integrity and values. If they can't walk at YOUR pace for a while, then it's just not the right one for you. Desperation and obsessiveness is never a charming trait in a man.

Ohhh good your here (or was here) Sam! *gives you your head back and its all nice and clean!* I even brushed your teeth so you don't have freezer breath =D

Allen

Nope, I used colgate extra whiting! And your head is very easy to cuddle on lonely nights...its like "atleast Sam's head loves me tonight!" lol

Allen

Wish I had one myself.

Sam,
Jeez, I do sound as crazy as I am sometimes, you're fine...:P
Thank gawd you got your head back ok, lol