The "No Complaining" campaign (4)

It’s all on the wrist
Kansas City church has a unique reminder to end personal complaining.
By HELEN T. GRAY

The Kansas City Star
Mike Ransdell | The Kansas City Star

Among the dozen Christ Church Unity members who have gone 21 straight days without complaining are Tom Alyea, Linda LeMieux, Norm Heyder, Jan Ward, Marcia Dale, the Rev. Will Bowen, Patricia Platt and JoAnn Rennack.

It was a pastor’s simple idea: Just stop complaining.

And to help his congregation remember, the Rev. Will Bowen gave each one a purple bracelet stamped with the word spirit.

The challenge was to go 21 days straight without mumbling a complaining word and no gossiping and criticizing either. If a person slipped, the bracelet was to be switched to the other wrist, and the 21-day time period started over.

But what began in July as a simple idea has become a national movement, a “complaint-free movement.” And Christ Church Unity in Kansas City is becoming known throughout the country as the complaint-free church.

Look at what has been happening.

The article that appeared on the front page of The Kansas City Star last month has been picked up by newspapers in states including California, Utah, Texas, Florida, Ohio, Connecticut, Indiana and Illinois.

The church has received more than 100 calls, e-mails and letters, many requesting bracelets that the church is offering for free.

“So far we have sent out more than 9,000,” Bowen said. “And this is with none of the newspapers listing our contact information. People are just hungry for this and finding us.”

The effort is the subject of a magazine sent to all Unity ministers, board members and church staff around the world. It was featured on local television, and Bowen said he has found it on at least half a dozen Web sites and blogs.

Requests for bracelets have come from individuals, families, churches of various denominations, businesses, schools, civic groups, Scouts and sports teams. Bowen said he received an e-mail from a woman in Florida who wanted to send them to friends outside the United States.

But then there was a church that returned the bracelets, saying that they didn’t like the quality.

“I thought to myself, ‘They’re going to have a tough row to hoe because they’re starting off complaining about the bracelets,’ ” Bowen said with a laugh.

Christ Church has set up the Web site . Among the links is one to Oprah Winfrey, with a request that people write about their experiences and encourage Oprah’s staff to do a story.

The church also offers yard signs and bumper stickers that say “AComplaintFreeWorld.org,” and it is selling “complaint-free church” T-shirts. The quote on the front is from Maya Angelou: “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.”

And if imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Christ Church Unity has experienced that as well, with a Greenwood, Mo., church distributing black “no whining bands” to its members.

In addition, Christ Church’s own complaint-free club is growing as people reach their 21 straight days without complaining. Of the 250 members, the club now numbers 12 and includes Bowen and his 10-year-old daughter, Lia, with many getting close, he said.

Patricia Platt of Gladstone recently succeeded, with a push from her fourth-grade class. Several students had told her their parents had seen her name in the paper and asked what it was about. She read the article to them, and many wanted the class to try the challenge.

Careful not to offend parents by getting the bracelets from her church that had the word spirit on them, Platt bought bracelets that displayed such words as hope, be strong and dream. All of her 25 students wanted bracelets, and they regularly shared in the class how they were doing.

They also wanted updates on how their teacher was doing and applauded when she announced her success earlier this month. Fourteen students also have made it and received “positive attitude” certificates.

“This was an incentive for me because I knew they were looking up to me,” Platt said. “One girl said she needed to learn how to handle her little sister because she always has to change her bracelet because of her. And sometimes a student will come up and start to say something, then stop and say, ‘Never mind. That would be complaining.’ ”

Bowen is surprised by how quickly his idea ignited.

“Obviously a chord has been struck that is just vibrating,” he said. “And it is continuing to build momentum. More and more people are finding out about it. I’m just flabbergasted.”

A Utah mother of four young children thanked Bowen and lamented the “negativity that is so predominant” today.

Mignon Bullington of Camarillo, Calif., who ordered bracelets for her family, said the complaint-free challenge “struck strong emotions” in her.

“I noticed that when my husband and I were being negative about any such subject, our kids (ages 19, 17 and 11) would chime in,” she said. “How horrible that is to see and realize how our children are being taught to act, react and live.”

For her the challenge offered hope for a more peaceful and kind society.

The Rev. Howard Self, interim pastor at Congregational Church in Algonquin, Ill., said the church’s administrative assistant brought The Star article to him. She had been visiting in Kansas City when it appeared in the newspaper.

“When I read it, I said, ‘I have to figure out a way to use this.’ ”

The congregation had been through a rough time.

“I saw this as the first step in moving from a complaint-filled congregation to a complaint-free congregation,” Self said.

Dec. 3 the bracelets will be given out at the end of the worship service.

“This will be the symbolic closing of the door on complaining,” Self said.

Bowen now is dreaming big.

“What I think we will see in the future, we will turn on our television, and there will be characters and people wearing the bracelets, and it will be a non-surprise to us.

“And we may turn on Oprah and say, ‘Oops, it is back on the right arm!’ Or Regis will be telling Kelly, ‘I can’t go 21 days! Is he nuts? It’s baseball season!’ ”

Linda LeMieux of Christ Church, who recently made her 21 days, said, “We want world peace, but the question is always what can one person do. This is it.”

(For more information you'll have to Google it, since I can't post the website.)

Interseting...I did see Oprah talk about it today. I do an activity with my Employment Skills class--they have to track (in their least favorite class) how many times they hear someone complain (students and teacher). We then discuss how complaining on the job (or in classes) affects them and others. I know this is something I need to work on. Thanks for sharing.

Heather