New on the job... ( Archived) (5)

A new manager walks into his office and, while settling into his new desk, finds 4 envelopes. On one he finds the words `open me first,` and the other three are numbered 1 to 3.

He opens the first envelope and finds a letter from his predecessor saying:` These three envelopes will save you a world of trouble. In case of emergency, please open these envelopes in sequential order; envelope one first, envelope two second, and envelope three third.`

The manager shrugs, puts the envelopes back, and forgets about them.

Six months later, the workers go on strike. The company closes, and is losing money fast.

After a long night negotiating with the union, he remembers the 3 envelopes. He opens the first one and it says: `Blame me, your predecessor, for everything`.
Wonderful idea he thinks, and indeed it works and the crisis comes to its end. His job is saved, and everybody`s happy.

A few months later, another strike hits. He goes to the drawer and opens the second envelope. It reads, `Blame the government for everything`.
It works like a charm, and he breathes a sigh of relief as his job is, once again, saved.

A month later the workers declare another strike. The manager goes directly to the third envelope and it reads, `Prepare 4 new envelopes...`

Lessons from Management:

A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma`am, we haven`t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn`t look as if we`ll be getting any soon."
Alarmed, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn`t true, ma`am. Of course, we`ll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago."
Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don`t have something. If we don`t have it, say we ordered it and it`s on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?"
"Rain."