Answerphone Messages (11)
My favorite: Hi. Now you say something.
Thank you, I hadn't heard all of these before.
Thank you, I hadn't heard all of these before.
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that was my favourite, too...
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My late husband's favorite was:
You know who you got, and what you gotta do,
and if you do it right, then I might call you!
You know who you got, and what you gotta do,
and if you do it right, then I might call you!
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My friend John had this on his Answering machine:
You called me and if I would have answered you would have told me something, asked me something...or atleast said something...so continue on like I answered so I can decide if its worth picking up the phone or calling you back.
You called me and if I would have answered you would have told me something, asked me something...or atleast said something...so continue on like I answered so I can decide if its worth picking up the phone or calling you back.
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That one's a good one------ This thread is Archived ------
Thanks for that.... Duly spoken onto mine...
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I use mine to screen calls to keep Bill collectors away, and Im not saying cause I don't want to give myself away :)
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excellent those are some goodies! i´ve heard the ¨you know what you gotta do... beeeep¨ 
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"Hi! You've reached the voicemail of the world's greatest psychic! Since I obviously already know who you are and what you want, at the sound of the tone - Just hang up!"
That's the one that's on my voicemail right now.
Some other favorites:
"Hello? ...Uh... Hello? I'm sorry, I can't hear you. Just a sec, let me try something - HellOooo? Nope, it's STILL not working - Guess you're just gonna' have to wait for the beep and leave a message!"
"Hi this Don - I can't get to the phone right now; I'm either out doing something or, more likely, somethin's outdoin' me. So at the sound of the tone, do your thing and I'll get back to you..."
(Impersonating my friend Baxter Black)
"I'm not available, so leave a note!
Was the voicemail message that I wrote.
Yet several called and left no word
And so there were no notes I heard!
SIX was the number of calls I missed
And NOT ONE SINGLE MESSAGE! And I got ticked!
In deep frustration, I began to shout -
Then I rolled down the window and threw the damn phone out!
Now I'm walking down the ditch
Trying to find the sonuva' ...gun!
And if I have not called you back, you see
It's because without a message - How the hell would I know if you called me?
So PLEASE! Leave your name and number at the tone...
And I'll call you back... ...When I find my phone!"
There are many others I have used over the years and I try to change them out every couple of weeks just to keep friends and family members entertained...
That's the one that's on my voicemail right now.
Some other favorites:
"Hello? ...Uh... Hello? I'm sorry, I can't hear you. Just a sec, let me try something - HellOooo? Nope, it's STILL not working - Guess you're just gonna' have to wait for the beep and leave a message!"
"Hi this Don - I can't get to the phone right now; I'm either out doing something or, more likely, somethin's outdoin' me. So at the sound of the tone, do your thing and I'll get back to you..."
(Impersonating my friend Baxter Black)
"I'm not available, so leave a note!
Was the voicemail message that I wrote.
Yet several called and left no word
And so there were no notes I heard!
SIX was the number of calls I missed
And NOT ONE SINGLE MESSAGE! And I got ticked!
In deep frustration, I began to shout -
Then I rolled down the window and threw the damn phone out!
Now I'm walking down the ditch
Trying to find the sonuva' ...gun!
And if I have not called you back, you see
It's because without a message - How the hell would I know if you called me?
So PLEASE! Leave your name and number at the tone...
And I'll call you back... ...When I find my phone!"
There are many others I have used over the years and I try to change them out every couple of weeks just to keep friends and family members entertained...
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Good ones!!
Lol.....
We sang this one:
No ones Home, were so sorry
We cant come to the phone
But if you will leave a message
We'll call you back when we get home....OOOOHHHWEEEEOOOOOHHHHH
Or
For English press 1, For Spanish press 2, For German press 3, For Arabic press 4 Thank you!
For Michelle Press 1, For John Press 2, For The kids press their age thank you!
To leave a message press 1, to be directed to the person you would like to reach press 2 Thank you!
Transfering now......................................................................
Im Sorry, that person is not available.. For English Press 1........Na...Screw it and just leave a message!! Beep!
Lol.....
We sang this one:
No ones Home, were so sorry
We cant come to the phone
But if you will leave a message
We'll call you back when we get home....OOOOHHHWEEEEOOOOOHHHHH
Or
For English press 1, For Spanish press 2, For German press 3, For Arabic press 4 Thank you!
For Michelle Press 1, For John Press 2, For The kids press their age thank you!
To leave a message press 1, to be directed to the person you would like to reach press 2 Thank you!
Transfering now......................................................................
Im Sorry, that person is not available.. For English Press 1........Na...Screw it and just leave a message!! Beep!
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Created: Jul 2007
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Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
Hi. Now you say something.
Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets
"Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."
Hi i cant tak your call at the moment, which probably means im not in... unless youre a burglar, in which case im upstairs cleaning my weapons.
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. I like doing it up and down, and Sonya likes doing it left to right...real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you