Online Romance ( Archived) (2)

ONLINE ROMANCE

Internet dating,
Electronic romance,
Fill in the blanks,
Take a little chance.

Fritz the cat,
My online name.
For the moment,
Sublimation my aim.

First reply;
Marijane from Bangor, Main.
OH MY!
Just the thing for my kind of pain.

Jump on a plane she implored!
My what a handsome big boy,
It’s been a cold winter, and
Mommas’ broken all her toys.

Ouch!!! Not this ol’ boy!

Second reply;
Fancy, from someplace out West.
Me see you picture, want start relation,
Me do you long time, me do best.

You send you email place,
Have much big secret, you to tell.
Excuse Me? Did I hear that right?
Perhaps it really did freeze in Hell.

Said she was a student?

Third reply;
Betty Blue from here in my town,
Five foot tall, eyes of blue,
Petite, and fine looking in a gown.

No picture, have to take my word.
Here’s where I work, see me please.
Took a peak: A biker bar momma;
Frizzy headed behemoth with fleas.

Talk about false advertising!

Fourth reply;
Sunshine Honey, disposition sunny.
Great smile, nice picture; encouraging.
This one may be right on the money.

Sent her a sweet little love poem,
To show I was romantically blessed.
She emailed me back, saying she sensed
I was depressed, maybe even possessed.

Told me not to be afraid though,
Said she had a vision; a quantum hologram.
Kirshnerism, and chakra balancing would
Save me, sent with a psychic Reiki telegram.

Yeah, and I believe in the Easter Bunny too.

I think I’ll just run down to the Duce’s,
And buy old One Eyed Sally O’Grady
A bucket of beer and a barrel of whisky;
Let her tell, of how she once was a lady.

Ronald R. Hulshizer