We met in person and oh boy.... ( Archived) (25)

Sorry to hear about your experience Barcode, I met some one from here last night, it went well, better then I had expected. I was able to be myself did not have to really dress up wore jeans and tanktop, but we were going fishing, so I was dressed right. The problem is you picked a place that people have to dress up instead of being who they really are. Next time try a casual date setting.

Let's see. I have met with five "net matches" so far, not from this site. One looked better in his photo than in person, which has nothing to do with anything...we met for breakfast. I thought we got along great; we had been talking on the phone for a couple weeks. He was really funny, and although there was no "spark", I thought we would turn out to be great friends. When we parted, he suggested getting together for dinner over the weekend, to which I responded "yes", and he said he'd call. He never did, and I guess that's the end of that. #2, no photo posted, we met for coffee after talking on the phone for some time. He was a real gentleman. Again no spark, but we had a lot in common, and I thought we both enjoyed ourselves. We did have another date the next week, again I thought we both enjoyed ourselves. I haven't heard from him since.

#3...far better looking than his photo! After chatting with him online for a few weeks, we met and I guess his attitude was "put out or get out", because I haven't heard from him again. #4...looked pretty much exactly like his photo. We met on "his" terms, a group-type setting with his friends, which put me at a disadvantage, but I had a great time. He suggested lunch the next day to which I agreed, but then he cancelled. He IM'd me that evening and we chatted; I told him how much I'd enjoyed meeting him and what a great time I had. We had a great chat, and he said he'd call me later that evening, and let's go out again later in the week. He didn't call, then the next evening he sent me a message saying he was going to be busy for the next couple of weeks. Haven't heard from him since. I'm beginning to get a complex! What's wrong with me?

#5....pretty much like his photo, except he smiles in person, and not in photos. We emailed, phoned, and finally met. Major sparks, turn up the heat (not to boil....yet!). We both agreed that this was moving fast, let's slow down a bit and get to know each other; to make a long story short, we've gotten together three times now, with a week in between each, because we seem to keep misunderstanding the others' intentions. We finally (hopefully) cleared the air last night, had a great time, and hopefully (I think "hopefully") this is the beginning of something meaningful. I'm still not sure, and after three weeks (or three days, depending on how you look at it) it's way too early to make a commitment. I've got to play it by ear and see what happens. I'm honest, he is not comfortable expressing his feelings, so he can be hard to read. I don't trust him, and I don't NOT trust him at this point, so this is where I have to be prepared for anything, and try to protect my heart.

The surprising thing in all this is that in reading the forums, I've found that my experiences haven't just happened to me, it only feels that way. I've gotten discouraged (who wouldn't after four no-second-date/calls and three dates with a week's worth of break-up in between?) and am sure I'm destined to be alone for the rest of my life... I'm learning a lot about myself, though, and hopefully I'll come out stronger and more secure in knowing what I am looking for.

Sorry for the length! I'm not really a novelist!

Well, I would have to agree with Bar here.. For me atleast, without that initial chemisty there isnt much. I gotta have that spark to really dwelve into a person, I have to be attracted to them physically, but in the same token that physical attraction can very easily be thworted by a horrible personality.. This is ofcourse if I was looking for a partner. Now Im always open for new friends, and Im a pretty selfless guy when it comes to my friends. If your a good person and I enjoy your time, then thats all that really matters to me in that sense.

As long as they were the person in their profile photo. There are men from other countries who use model photos, and pretend to be from the U.S. There is a story on connecting singles about a scammer on here who did this.