hiding behind a wall ( Archived) (4)

Hello, I was wondering if anyone could tell me how do you get over the fear of being hurt by someone long enough to even get to know them. I've had enough exposure in my short little lifetime to cheaters/liars and i just recently had it pointed out that someone pretty much has to go over an obstacle course to get to know me. I think guys should be up for a challenge but I dont want to make it to the point where they just dont want to bother anymore. I never really realized I was doing it, and even now I dont know how to stop it. Red flags always seem to go up that scream cheater/liar mostly because of my past experiences. What should I do???

Can't go into every new meeting thinking it may be some wonderous relationship or lifelong partner.

Go in thinking you might have met a new friend or somebody to hand out with every once in a while. Should it be the right one, it will evolve on it's own without your having time to protest.

But by all means, don't go ignoring the red flags. Even after being burned and skepical, they're still usually 99.9% right. Trust yourself.

Wishes of peace to you.

Maybe it isn't that you just don't trust men. Maybe in a way you don't trust yourself to be able to attract men who won't hurt you.

My guess is at one time you were a very trusting and open person and someone used your honesty against you. I dunno?

Past experiences can teach you alot about spotting good and bad in people. If you honestly think the red flags you see are legitimate then run like hell. Otherwise maybe there are some issues you need to deal with before you should even think of getting involved with someone.

If you don't have the ability to trust anyone you will never keep a relationship going even if you happen to be with the most trustable person on Earth.

I think being able to trust someone goe hand in hand with being able to trust yourself.