Tips for calling the police...a must read for older folks! ( Archived) (3)

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.


George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his
wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she
could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there
were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said
"no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should
simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people
in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just
shot them all." Then he hung up.

Within three minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an
ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars
red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd
shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

(True Story) I
LOVE IT.

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load
of seniors down a highway
when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.
She offers him a handful of peanuts,
which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder
again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again
he asks the little old lady,
why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?
"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.

The puzzled driver asks,
"Why do you buy them then?"
The old lady replied,?
"We just love the chocolate around them."

It pays to be careful around old people.