His Little Girl (35)
lollsdublin, Dublin Ireland16 Threads 452 Postsyou have every right to vent. What was he thinking the insensitive sod
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I do still care deeply for him, and I probably always will. Not in such a way that I would want to get back into a relationship with him, but he holds a special place in my heart because he was my best friend for 4 years.
As far as contact with him, that will be up to him. He asked for a picture and for me to write him. I couldn't write him, so I just sent a thinking of you card, like you would send a friend wishing them happiness and the photo. If he continues contact, I will just take it day by day and see what happens. I won't waste the energy to go out of my way and let him know how deeply this hurts me, because I don't want him to know he has that much power. However, if he brings the subject up, I will let him know at that time how I feel about it.
The main thing giving me peace right now is the fact that I live 800 miles away from him, so I won't be looking at every little girl and wondering if it's his. And not having to worry about running into him somewhere and her in the car.
I'm finding happiness within myself every day, and I will mend and be whole again one day. Not feeling completely mended right now, is the reason I am so adamant about not wanting a serious relationship right now, because I know I have to be complete first.
Thank you for taking the time to post your thoughts on this. It's amazing how much better words can make you feel.
As far as contact with him, that will be up to him. He asked for a picture and for me to write him. I couldn't write him, so I just sent a thinking of you card, like you would send a friend wishing them happiness and the photo. If he continues contact, I will just take it day by day and see what happens. I won't waste the energy to go out of my way and let him know how deeply this hurts me, because I don't want him to know he has that much power. However, if he brings the subject up, I will let him know at that time how I feel about it.
The main thing giving me peace right now is the fact that I live 800 miles away from him, so I won't be looking at every little girl and wondering if it's his. And not having to worry about running into him somewhere and her in the car.
I'm finding happiness within myself every day, and I will mend and be whole again one day. Not feeling completely mended right now, is the reason I am so adamant about not wanting a serious relationship right now, because I know I have to be complete first.
Thank you for taking the time to post your thoughts on this. It's amazing how much better words can make you feel.
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It's okay. Just knowing that you have empathy for my situation is enough diogenes..
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I did have to be treated for depression when he and I first separated. I was on anti-depressants, and anti-anxiety medications for a while. Have since found out the anxiety wasn't mental after all and was a heart arrythmia caused by high blood pressure. Now, I'm completely off the high blood pressure medicine since starting my diet. Emotionally, my heart isn't healed, although I thought it was. I think I'll be alright. However, if I'm still depressed in a couple of weeks, I will go see my doctor for it.
I don't really know how to explain this next part. I know that the statement of being less than a woman isn't true - in my mind. It's my heart that doesn't accept it. I had complications with my daughter 15 years ago, Toxemia, Preclampsia, Hypertension, and my heart arrythmia. My blood pressure gets too high when I'm pregnant and the baby's heart can't handle it, is the way it was explained to me.
for making me feel better.
I don't really know how to explain this next part. I know that the statement of being less than a woman isn't true - in my mind. It's my heart that doesn't accept it. I had complications with my daughter 15 years ago, Toxemia, Preclampsia, Hypertension, and my heart arrythmia. My blood pressure gets too high when I'm pregnant and the baby's heart can't handle it, is the way it was explained to me.
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No, I can't be honest in how I view this man. I could come up with an excuse or justification for every question that I asked. I don't feel that you tried to lay me bare, because remember, I laid myself bare when I posted and I didn't take your post that way. 
I'll even answer the questions.....
Is he worth the heartache and the time that you invest in thinking about him? NO!
Is he worth the feelings you are experiencing over his treatment of you? No!
Did he think of you when he had the affair while you were with child? No!
Did he consider the impact it would have on you and your baby? No!
Did he actually think of you in all of this? No!
As a woman, I'm sure you understand when I say, that what our mind knows and what our heart feels are sometimes two entirely different things and causes conflict within ourselves. Unfortunately, the emotions seem to be harder to handle sometimes.
I know that he would have walked away. His father moved to another state when he was a child and they didn't have a relationship until he was 16 (Not saying that's the reason!!).He always told me he'd never do that to his child. Yet he did tell me the other day that he's going to another state to check on a job, so he's repeating his father's actions.
I'll even answer the questions.....Is he worth the heartache and the time that you invest in thinking about him? NO!
Is he worth the feelings you are experiencing over his treatment of you? No!
Did he think of you when he had the affair while you were with child? No!
Did he consider the impact it would have on you and your baby? No!
Did he actually think of you in all of this? No!
As a woman, I'm sure you understand when I say, that what our mind knows and what our heart feels are sometimes two entirely different things and causes conflict within ourselves. Unfortunately, the emotions seem to be harder to handle sometimes.
I know that he would have walked away. His father moved to another state when he was a child and they didn't have a relationship until he was 16 (Not saying that's the reason!!).He always told me he'd never do that to his child. Yet he did tell me the other day that he's going to another state to check on a job, so he's repeating his father's actions.
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I usually say the same thing, just word it different, "If he/she will do it with you, then he/she will do it to you!!!"
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If its been 3 years since you´ve talked to him and he cheated on you when you were together.......tell him to get a life and get out of yours....
In other words, hold your head up high and ask him "what the hell would I actually see in someone as low as you........amoeba is actually above you on the intelligence scale!"
If he still doesn´t take the hint......and is still bugging you.....kick him in the crotch and walk away!
In other words, hold your head up high and ask him "what the hell would I actually see in someone as low as you........amoeba is actually above you on the intelligence scale!"
If he still doesn´t take the hint......and is still bugging you.....kick him in the crotch and walk away!
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I was a little more colorful when I asked that...lol but I won't repeat it on here.....
I hope I didn't miss anyone. I didn't want anyone to think I had started a thread, then deserted it. I just went to work...the bills won't stop because my heart is trying to mend.
Thank you everyone for your empathy, support, and suggestions!!
I hope I didn't miss anyone. I didn't want anyone to think I had started a thread, then deserted it. I just went to work...the bills won't stop because my heart is trying to mend.
Thank you everyone for your empathy, support, and suggestions!!
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you can be my little girl anytime
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!!!!!Shorty,
I didn't realize you had sent him a picture of yourself. I realize that it's not the same thing as writing him a letter and it is contact though. My question is this...why waste your precious energies sending him a picture of you?? He doesn't deserve to have contact with you and he is having pangs of guilt then it's his burden to bear, not yours. You have had enough heartache from this man and now it's your time to heal. My question to you is this, since you stated that you and he were "friends" for several years before this happened, would your friends treat you in the manner this man has? If you take more than two seconds to answer that then honey, you really need to make some new friends. This man wants nothing more than to alleviate his inner guilt, he knows what he did to you, he knows how much he hurt you and he comes around you now to gain closure for himself in his mind. Guilt is a very powerful emotion and it can eat people alive, at least those people with a conscience. You deserve to heal and you know what I found out after much soul searching...you can forgive someone for what they have done to you and you can do it without having to ever lay eyes on them again. I call it collectively avoiding them, but you know what if it causes you pain to see them then you have every right to avoid contact and places where you know they will be. It's not your fault and don't let this man appeal to your good nature and don't let him use your goodness against you.
I didn't realize you had sent him a picture of yourself. I realize that it's not the same thing as writing him a letter and it is contact though. My question is this...why waste your precious energies sending him a picture of you?? He doesn't deserve to have contact with you and he is having pangs of guilt then it's his burden to bear, not yours. You have had enough heartache from this man and now it's your time to heal. My question to you is this, since you stated that you and he were "friends" for several years before this happened, would your friends treat you in the manner this man has? If you take more than two seconds to answer that then honey, you really need to make some new friends. This man wants nothing more than to alleviate his inner guilt, he knows what he did to you, he knows how much he hurt you and he comes around you now to gain closure for himself in his mind. Guilt is a very powerful emotion and it can eat people alive, at least those people with a conscience. You deserve to heal and you know what I found out after much soul searching...you can forgive someone for what they have done to you and you can do it without having to ever lay eyes on them again. I call it collectively avoiding them, but you know what if it causes you pain to see them then you have every right to avoid contact and places where you know they will be. It's not your fault and don't let this man appeal to your good nature and don't let him use your goodness against you.
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I mainly did it because I want him to look at my picture, remember and suffer. Of course, by the time I had thought it through completely, I wished I hadn't mailed it, but the post was already gone. I don' t have to worry about running into him, because I live like 843 miles from him for the time being. I'm glad you thought enough about this to voice your concern.
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