Green Side Up.. ( Archived) (5)

An Australian Builder is going through a newly built
house with the excited female owner,
they are walking through the house and she is indicating
to Bob the colours that she would like each room decorated in.
They approach the dining room, "Id like Duck egg blue in here
with white cornices" with that Bob yells out "Green side up!"
They continue to the Bathroom where the woman indicates
that she would like a nice cream colour here, with that Bob
goes to the window and shouts " Green side up!"
In the Master bedroom the woman is quite particular about
its colour detail and tells Bob that she would like a nice
shade of Lemon again with white cornices, Bob writes
this in his notebook and again goes to the front door-
"Green side up!" he yells.
The woman is quite curious and says to Bob, "Can you explain
why each time I indcate a decoration scheme for my new home
you shout "Green side up?"
Oh its ok said Bob, dont worry about that,
Ive got a couple of Kiwi's laying turf out the front!

Three guys - a Tasmanian, a Queenslander and a New South Welshman - are out walking along the beach together one day.

They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total", says the genie.

The Tasmanian says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity."

With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' the oceans were teaming with fish.

The Queenslander was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around
Queensland, so that we can run our own State how we feel, and no hippie southerner can tell us what to do. I want it so nothing and no-one will get in for all eternity."

Again, with a blink of the genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Queensland.

The New South Welshman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."

The New South Welshman says, "Fill it up with water."