arranged marriages. ( Archived) (17)

its a big problem isnt it ?? for ppl of faith who agree with arranged marriage, and their children, who grow up with more modern ideas, questioning the very foundations that are laid long before they were born

its easy for us, who have the privilage to marry by choice to talk about it negatively, but i think i go by the rule that ........ if you believe in it, then its right for you

if you are questioning it, then you are questioning your own faith, and while thats not wrong in itself, as i think we all should have questions about our faith, its from the questions that we learn

i really feel for anyone who has to put themselves thru such a dilemma, if someone does not agree with arranged marriage, but love their family enough to go through with it ...... what a personal sacrifice that is

and we then judge the parents .......thinking ........ how can they put a beloved child thru this, but the very culture and upbringing the parents have had , dictate how they act with their own children, they honestly think they are acting in their childs best interest

yes they are but he has only been in the uk for seven years from india.

he has a broadmind but his parents do not.

at the moment there letting him find his own hindu bride.

he is also scared to tell his parents about me incase they use blackmail on him.

like im going to kill myself you bringing shame down on me.

i myself can not let him be abandond by his family over me.

but i am hoping it dont come to that

it feels like you dived in to my mind and read it all aloud... thisis whats happening.. i dont know to much actually about the importance of marrying within culture religion in europe and america.... but out here its still the thing and things are changing slowly...

Parents definitely... feel they r doing it in the best interests of their children.. but in changing times.... it is far easier and safer to know the person well... then get your families to know each other and work it out....

As far as culture or religion is concerned ... certain rules or taboos were a result of the scenario in which they came about and not a great idea to implement them... as it is .. in different times...

The ability to CHANGE keeps everything afloat.

ahh i get the picture .... if you dont mind my asking which culture do they belong to.. i mean in India...

he is hindu but i know there are alot of diffent groups of it.

and they have different gods

he did tell me that there are three gods he has


but i also think his parents will be thinking of his well being and are just going to be looking out for him thats why if they want to have an arrange marriage for him then. i think as a mother i would want my son to be ok and go with what i beleive with.

he is 32 now so i think they must if there going to do it. there going to think about it soon.

this is true as his friends he has made in the uk do not know about me. he says he cant tell them as they wont understand.

one of his friend now is meeting a girl for an arranged marriage and he has no choice to do anything different

dont know what tosay..why dont you like meet up with his parents .. like a friend... see how they react and maybe... there might be a solutn...