X-mas cheer (3)

Holiday Memo
To: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season

Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).

1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.

2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill).

3. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."

4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house.

5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.

6. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.

In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.
--

A Christmas Thought
Do you know what would have happened
If it had been Three Wise Women
Instead of Three Wise Men?

They would have asked directions,
Arrived on time,
Helped deliver the baby,
Cleaned the stable,
Made a casserole,
Brought practical gifts and
There WOULD be Peace On Earth.

--

Short Christmas Jokes
What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet!

What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.

What kind of bird can write?
A PENguin.

ELF NO. 1: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?
ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone, sack time!!

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes.

Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low *elf* esteem.

Who sings "Love me tender", and makes Christmas toys?
Santa's little Elvis. (Elvis lives! :-)

Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?
"Rude"olph

What is the cow's holiday greeting?
Mooooory Christmas!

Where do Santa's reindeers like to stop for lunch?
Deery Queen!

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve.

What did Tarzan sing at Christmas time?
Jungle Bells. ;-)

Two brothers we are, belonging to Santa,
Great burdens we bear by which we are bitterly pressed;
The truth is to say we are full all the day!
....And empty when we go to rest...
(What can we be?)
Santa's boots!

Ha,ha,ha,ha! ::roll:

Really? Do you you know what kind of trouble you are about to get me into?

Okay, so now I have several boxes of aluminum foil and tomorrow, yes indeed, into the shredder!!! WHY didn't I THINK of that!

This is going to be so much fun! 285 rolls at 50 feet each! Yehaa! What a festive office! (Especially Bob's -he is going to get at least 150 rolls worth!)