Child adoption question. ( Archived) (25)

i think the best thing to do would be to consult a lawyer.

I think you probably wouldn't have a legal problem sorting this one out, and I am sure there is more than one way of going about it, the only thing that would be slightly concerning is that there may come a time when the child finds out (or maybe not) but if the child did, it might be hard for him/her... I know someone who it happened to... where the married partner just assumed the parenting role and everything was fine, until he found out the thruth.. it was like a double whammy... knowing all of a sudden that his real 'dad' didn't give a damn, and finding out that his traditional 'dad' wasn't his dad all along.... confusing!!

A lawyer will help you in this situation,but since you are not married, even for you to have the biological father legally responsible, you would have to have paternity established. Since he is not stepping up to the plate and taking any part of your life now or assuming any of the burden of the expenses, then I would definitely go with giving the child your name on the birth certificate and leave father unknow.
Should you find the right man one day and become a family, adoption is something you have to weigh out very carefully. My ex and I adopted my granddaughter, and he was bound by law to pay support on her. NO exceptions...adopted carry more weight then birth children in the fact that he chose this. I asked for no support for her, but the courts refused to accept that. When he signed the adoption papers, he accepted support for the rest of her dependent days. When he passed social security entitled her to his death benefits also. Adoption is a life time commitment and even follows after death.
A man can be a dad without the adoption papers. Just be careful and sure before you let a man take the legal step of adoption. JMO

I don't think I'd love to her. I'd probably explain it as soon as she was old enough to somewhat comprehend what i was saying.