Do you know any Jokes? Come on in and say it, be nice! (13)
RiccoSan Cristobal, Buenos Aires Argentina13 Threads 539 Posts
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One day a guy decided to visit an old friend's grave. He picked
up some flowers to put on the grave as a show of respect.
He entered the grave and put the flowers on the grave of his
departed friend when he noticed another guy putting a beer on the
grave of his friend.
The guy thought this was rather amusing. He shouted over to the
other "My son, when do you think your buddy's going to come up
drink his beer!"
The guy man shouted back, "The same time that your friend comes
up to smell his flowers !!!!!"
up some flowers to put on the grave as a show of respect.
He entered the grave and put the flowers on the grave of his
departed friend when he noticed another guy putting a beer on the
grave of his friend.
The guy thought this was rather amusing. He shouted over to the
other "My son, when do you think your buddy's going to come up
drink his beer!"
The guy man shouted back, "The same time that your friend comes
up to smell his flowers !!!!!"
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A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".
Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows".
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those"?
The Aussie asks with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?
Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows".
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those"?
The Aussie asks with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?
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aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.
"Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig."
The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."
"Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig."
The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."
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One day my housework-challenged husband
decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry
room, he shouted to me, "What setting do
I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it
say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...
decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry
room, he shouted to me, "What setting do
I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it
say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes
today," Jack says as he
stepped out of the shower, "Honey, what
do you think the neighbors would think
if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your
money," she replied.
today," Jack says as he
stepped out of the shower, "Honey, what
do you think the neighbors would think
if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your
money," she replied.
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He said - Since I first laid eyes on you,
I have wanted to make love to you
really badly. She said -
Well, you succeeded.
I have wanted to make love to you
really badly. She said -
Well, you succeeded.
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a girl notices her boss's zipper is undone .. "Boss ur garage is open2 he says can u see my Ferrari.. no replies the girl just your scooter and 2 flat tyres... 
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A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
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a man walked up to the bartender and said '' i bet you $100 that i could pee in a shot while standing on the bartop''
of course the bartender said yes because by looking at how drunk the man was he'd be getting $100 easily.
so the man got up on the bar and let it rip, he completely missed and peed everywhere, thus losing the bet.But even though he lost the bet he started laughing histerically.
'' why are you laughing? you just lost $100'' asked the bartender.
then the man replied '' coz i bet that bloke $1000 that you'd let me pee all over your bar!"
hahahahaha
of course the bartender said yes because by looking at how drunk the man was he'd be getting $100 easily.
so the man got up on the bar and let it rip, he completely missed and peed everywhere, thus losing the bet.But even though he lost the bet he started laughing histerically.
'' why are you laughing? you just lost $100'' asked the bartender.
then the man replied '' coz i bet that bloke $1000 that you'd let me pee all over your bar!"
hahahahaha
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Created: Jun 2008
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