what should the perimeters be for humor (469)
mylifewithuSpringfield, Missouri USA174 Threads 23,670 PostsANurse4U: gotcha a pair also
Now I almost feel safe
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ANurse4U: :runs and gets large flashlight and surgical pliers:
NEXT
Good thing you are a nurse, You know which thing doesn't belongNEXT
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mylifewithu: Good thing you are a nurse, You know which thing doesn't belong
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not to worry though, I got a fire hose in the sterilizer for the serious ones.
You know the ones with hormonial flames thats burning them bugs
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You know the ones with hormonial flames thats burning them bugs
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The bug up the butt was one of my mom's nicer things to say about crabby uptight people who couldn't take a joke
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ANurse4U: not to worry though, I got a fire hose in the sterilizer for the serious ones.
You know the ones with hormonial flames thats burning them bugs
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Oh yeah hormonal flames, that ones seriousYou know the ones with hormonial flames thats burning them bugs
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ANurse4U: :runs and gets large flashlight and surgical pliers:
NEXT
If nothing else works, try C4, worked for me....NEXT
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mylifewithu: The bug up the butt was one of my mom's nicer things to say about crabby uptight people who couldn't take a joke
my mom always said the same thing
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ANurse4U: my mom always said the same thing
Oh here is an old vampire joke I posted awhile back, since we were talking of vampires.
Top 15 Complaints of a Modern Day Vampire
15. Grunge look makes it tough to tell living from the undead.
14. Nutrasweet or not, fat-free blood tastes like crap.
13. Hard to get a decent puncture with latex on your fangs.
12. Three Words: Daylight Savings Time
11. Can't enjoy a meal at Burger King without some redneck yelling, "Look Ma! It's Elvis!"
10. After 45 years of Communist rule, it's impossible to find clean, uncontaminated Transylvanian soil for bottom of coffin.
9. After 100 years of trying, still can't score with Elvira.
8. No bat is safe with Ozzy Ozbourne around.
7. With all those crucifix-wearing Madonna clones, junior highs are suddenly off-limits.
6. No warm blood for miles around DC.
5. Exhausted from all those Calvin Klein photo shoots.
4. No small task beating F. Lee Bailey to a warm body.
3. Buxom wenches of old have been replaced by aerobicized "hardbodies."
2. Baboon heart makes everything taste gamey.
and the Number 1 Complaint of Modern Day Vampires...
1. Sick and tired of being mistaken for Keith Richards.
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mylifewithu: Oh here is an old vampire joke I posted awhile back, since we were talking of vampires.Top 15 Complaints of a Modern Day Vampire
15. Grunge look makes it tough to tell living from the undead.
14. Nutrasweet or not, fat-free blood tastes like crap.
13. Hard to get a decent puncture with latex on your fangs.
12. Three Words: Daylight Savings Time
11. Can't enjoy a meal at Burger King without some redneck yelling, "Look Ma! It's Elvis!"
10. After 45 years of Communist rule, it's impossible to find clean, uncontaminated Transylvanian soil for bottom of coffin.
9. After 100 years of trying, still can't score with Elvira.
8. No bat is safe with Ozzy Ozbourne around.
7. With all those crucifix-wearing Madonna clones, junior highs are suddenly off-limits.
6. No warm blood for miles around DC.
5. Exhausted from all those Calvin Klein photo shoots.
4. No small task beating F. Lee Bailey to a warm body.
3. Buxom wenches of old have been replaced by aerobicized "hardbodies."
2. Baboon heart makes everything taste gamey.
and the Number 1 Complaint of Modern Day Vampires...
1. Sick and tired of being mistaken for Keith Richards.
15. Grunge look makes it tough to tell living from the undead.
14. Nutrasweet or not, fat-free blood tastes like crap.
13. Hard to get a decent puncture with latex on your fangs.
12. Three Words: Daylight Savings Time
11. Can't enjoy a meal at Burger King without some redneck yelling, "Look Ma! It's Elvis!"
10. After 45 years of Communist rule, it's impossible to find clean, uncontaminated Transylvanian soil for bottom of coffin.
9. After 100 years of trying, still can't score with Elvira.
8. No bat is safe with Ozzy Ozbourne around.
7. With all those crucifix-wearing Madonna clones, junior highs are suddenly off-limits.
6. No warm blood for miles around DC.
5. Exhausted from all those Calvin Klein photo shoots.
4. No small task beating F. Lee Bailey to a warm body.
3. Buxom wenches of old have been replaced by aerobicized "hardbodies."
2. Baboon heart makes everything taste gamey.
and the Number 1 Complaint of Modern Day Vampires...
1. Sick and tired of being mistaken for Keith Richards.
Oh those are to funny. I loved #11
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wixomwizard: Now there's a invite if I ever heard one
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wixomwizard: WAIT,WAIT, where did I put my teeth?
That's what I don't want to hear from a woman....
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wixomwizard: WAIT,WAIT, where did I put my teeth?
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Indyfella: That's what I don't want to hear from a woman....
Darn thats me
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I've got midget tossing scheduled for the next hour...so I'll be off. Actually, it only takes 30 minutes.
The other 30 minutes I'll be doing my daily tire check....
The other 30 minutes I'll be doing my daily tire check....
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Indyfella: I've got midget tossing scheduled for the next hour...so I'll be off. Actually, it only takes 30 minutes.
The other 30 minutes I'll be doing my daily tire check....
Well watch out when you are kicking the tires, that you don't kick a vampire midget , or you will get holes in your knee capsThe other 30 minutes I'll be doing my daily tire check....
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Indyfella: That's what I don't want to hear from a woman....
You got that one right,big guy, where ya been?
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mylifewithu: Well watch out when you are kicking the tires, that you don't kick a vampire midget , or you will get holes in your knee caps
I'm following the Messiah's guidelines for checking tire pressure.....
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Speaking of humour(yes, that's how the English spell an English word!)
Has anyone noticed how much Indy's photo looks like an alcoholic moustached version of Frasier?
Has anyone noticed how much Indy's photo looks like an alcoholic moustached version of Frasier?
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Indyfella: I'm following the Messiah's guidelines for checking tire pressure.....
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