10 Commandments Of A Car Collector!!! (2)
Here's more car jokes:
Classified Ad TranslatorNeeds Minor Work - Needs significant work.
Needs Nothing - Except a tow truck.
Easy Project Car - Completely disassembled, bring many boxes.
Minor Rust - Don't sit down!
Minor Rust - Major rust you can’t see.
Low Mileage - Only 170,000.
Convertible - After driving under truck.
Runs Great - Too bad it doesn’t roll.
Alarm - Wires are cut to sell stolen.
Nice Stereo - To overcome exhaust noise.
Needs Paint - To cover rust.
New Paint - Beautifully covers rust.
Fully Loaded - Seller is too.
All Options - 8-track player.
Only 59,000 Miles - Actually 359,000 miles.
Rare Model - One of 500,000 made.
Must Sell - Before the law finds seller.
Must Sell - Need bail money.
Summer Fun - Roof leaks in winter.
Summer Fun - Won't make it to fall.
Reliable - Don't leave the neighborhood.
Daily Driver - 400 miles a day.
Only Driven Sundays - Sunday is race day.
Engine Rebuilt - Engine degreased to look it.
Doesn’t Smoke - No oil to burn, or 90wt oil.
Trans. Rebuilt - Fine sawdust used to make it quiet.
4 Speed Gearbox - 5th gear is dead.
Hurry, Won't Last - Neither will car.
New Tires - Retreads years ago.
Well Maintained - Oil changed every other leap year.
Drives Like a Dream - Nightmare.
Car Cover - To help keep out rats.
Always Garaged - Embarrassed to leave it outside.
Family Owned - Driven by 6 teenagers.
Fully Restored - Nothing original.
Smog Exempt - DMV doesn't think so.
Tags Till Next Year - Stolen year sticker.
Moving, Must Sell - Off to jail, need bail money.
Classified Ad TranslatorNeeds Minor Work - Needs significant work.
Needs Nothing - Except a tow truck.
Easy Project Car - Completely disassembled, bring many boxes.
Minor Rust - Don't sit down!
Minor Rust - Major rust you can’t see.
Low Mileage - Only 170,000.
Convertible - After driving under truck.
Runs Great - Too bad it doesn’t roll.
Alarm - Wires are cut to sell stolen.
Nice Stereo - To overcome exhaust noise.
Needs Paint - To cover rust.
New Paint - Beautifully covers rust.
Fully Loaded - Seller is too.
All Options - 8-track player.
Only 59,000 Miles - Actually 359,000 miles.
Rare Model - One of 500,000 made.
Must Sell - Before the law finds seller.
Must Sell - Need bail money.
Summer Fun - Roof leaks in winter.
Summer Fun - Won't make it to fall.
Reliable - Don't leave the neighborhood.
Daily Driver - 400 miles a day.
Only Driven Sundays - Sunday is race day.
Engine Rebuilt - Engine degreased to look it.
Doesn’t Smoke - No oil to burn, or 90wt oil.
Trans. Rebuilt - Fine sawdust used to make it quiet.
4 Speed Gearbox - 5th gear is dead.
Hurry, Won't Last - Neither will car.
New Tires - Retreads years ago.
Well Maintained - Oil changed every other leap year.
Drives Like a Dream - Nightmare.
Car Cover - To help keep out rats.
Always Garaged - Embarrassed to leave it outside.
Family Owned - Driven by 6 teenagers.
Fully Restored - Nothing original.
Smog Exempt - DMV doesn't think so.
Tags Till Next Year - Stolen year sticker.
Moving, Must Sell - Off to jail, need bail money.
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Created: Oct 2008
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2. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's car nor his garage, nor his battery charger.
3. Thou shalt not store thy car out-of-doors except for the wife's Toyota.
4. Thou shalt not deceive thy wife into thinking that thee is taking her for a romantic Sunday drive when indeed thou art going out to look at another car.
5. Thou shalt not love thy cars more than thy wife and children.
6. Thou shalt not despise thy neighbor's Edsel, nor his DeSoto, nor even his '47 Plymouth.
7. Thou shalt not tell thy spouse the entire cost of thy latest restoration, at least not all at the same time.
8. Thou shalt not promise thy wife a new addition for the house and then use it to store cars.
9. Thou shalt not allow thy sons and daughters to get married during the car show season.
10. Thou shalt not buy thy wife a floor jack for Christmas.