CHUCK NORRIS IS GOD (24)
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you’re still alive, it’s because Chuck Norris loves you.
Chuck Norris isn’t hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris instead.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you’re still alive, it’s because Chuck Norris loves you.
Chuck Norris isn’t hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris instead.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
chuck norris loves me 
hey,,,,leave druss alone,,,,druss is cool and if he wants to tell his chuck norris jokes than so be it,,,,,,,, you 
druss hunni
druss hunniwhat u doing up and still able 2 rite straight nod nite club go
god was female when did chuck have operation
im still here and still standing,,,and the tequila was good,,,oh so good,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
hey cj alias cj hows it going gueess u jumped in the deep end here k ok im over the limit way over but chat to ya l8tr
last woman standing cause im sitting hang on wait till i get up upppsss not goung yo happen cheyni
cause im sitting hang on wait till i get up upppsss not goung yo happen cheyniGEEZ JOAN,,,,,,,, i went clubbing and yr the one not able to get up,,,,,, old age eh??? 
im lost already,,,,,,,,,,,, go to sleep and when you wake then post,,,cant read ys posts when yr drunk,,,,hey joan,,,,,,,,,,,,, AA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
chucky facts have been around for years, i can resist bringing them around again,
edit
"cannot resist"
"cannot resist"
ah man,,,, yr a lightweight..hehehehehe or so i say now,wait till later tho,,,im sure my hangover will kick in then,,have 10 pre-teens staying over for my daughters birthday slumber party,,,,,,,,,aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..kill me now!!!!!!!!!!!
or so i say now,wait till later tho,,,im sure my hangover will kick in then,,have 10 pre-teens staying over for my daughters birthday slumber party,,,,,,,,,aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..kill me now!!!!!!!!!!!ha ha ha
gonna lock them all in the living room with their dvd's and party stuff and leave them too it,,,,, looks like it'll be another nite glued to the computer for me,,,,,,, anyone got any ear plugs?????
not funny druss,,,,the things i agree to when im drunk!!!
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Created: Sep 2006
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost