why cant people be themselves? (30)
Piperellamilton, Ontario Canada1 Threads 3 Postsi was just recently in a relationship and things seemed fine we never really fought we got along great. then he moved in with me and thats when things changed he turned into this crazy control freak. i kicked him out but now im kinda worrid about ever being able to trust again.
I am sorry you had to go through that. Some people do change when that much commitment is involved. Some people freak out for whatever reasons. Trust is an issue that is hard to put into words. If you want to trust again, you will. You just have to give yourself time to get past what this guy did and accept that not all guys will be like that.
piperella,, how long was it before you let him move in,, and very sorry you had to go though that,, time will heal it
wow...that sucks.
i would get to no someone well before i ever moved in with them. maybe have some sleepover type visits and weekend stays etc., first before moving in.
This doesnt stop them from changing but it certainly will help in seeing how that person really is on a day to day basis.
i would get to no someone well before i ever moved in with them. maybe have some sleepover type visits and weekend stays etc., first before moving in.
This doesnt stop them from changing but it certainly will help in seeing how that person really is on a day to day basis.
Trust comes back if you want it to....you have to remind yourself that the next guy IS NOT the same as the one you kicked out. Learn from it and move on...Life's to short to worry....
Sorry things did not work out with you and your ex.
Maybe take the time to get to know someone a little more next time before jumping into the more serious stage?
Believe it or not there are some good guys out there!
Just take it easy and one day at a time!
Maybe take the time to get to know someone a little more next time before jumping into the more serious stage?
Believe it or not there are some good guys out there!
Just take it easy and one day at a time!
You never know what a person is truly like until they move in with you. I always think it best to have them move in for a month or so but not give up their own place. This gives you both some time to see if you can adjust to one anothers habits. I've been on my own for a number of years and to move someone else into my home would take some doing but with a little compromise and a lot of communication it is possible.
People are themselves...MOST of the time......
As Foxy asked you, how long was it until he moved in?
I have never lived with a man, unless you include my brothers ...the reasons: only cause I choose so....
Don't let someone's short comings and negative characteristics stop you from believing in someone else.......
I am sorry that it didn't work out to your advantage but it may just have been a blessing in disguise
Heal and move on..........things WILL get much better girl!
As Foxy asked you, how long was it until he moved in?
I have never lived with a man, unless you include my brothers ...the reasons: only cause I choose so....
Don't let someone's short comings and negative characteristics stop you from believing in someone else.......
I am sorry that it didn't work out to your advantage but it may just have been a blessing in disguise
Heal and move on..........things WILL get much better girl!
ya there are guys like that, and girls like that also.
sorry but the only thing you can do is learn from that part of your life and move on somtimes we only learn when we get hurt.
I will pass on some good advice my mother gave me tho.
after you moved in with your love live together for 3 years before you get married, by then you will know the person well enough.
Better to have a relation ship that was going south do it before the legal papers get filed as that is just more greef and suffering then just having the person leave your life.
sorry but the only thing you can do is learn from that part of your life and move on somtimes we only learn when we get hurt.
I will pass on some good advice my mother gave me tho.
after you moved in with your love live together for 3 years before you get married, by then you will know the person well enough.
Better to have a relation ship that was going south do it before the legal papers get filed as that is just more greef and suffering then just having the person leave your life.
in a relationship it is always give and take.so if he tried to control you could have allowd him some control, your relationship could have lasted.think next time.
Funny how it's all the guy's fault.I guess you couldn't have done anything to make him act that way?
What do you think would justify a guy hitting and throwing around his woman? Is there anything she could do to him to make it all right? Just curious there genius.
People are responsible for their own actions....deflecting and blaming others is a way of avoiding owning responsiblity....
In a perfect world you get to really know a person before living together and that's how they stay.However,be it a man or a woman,some people do change once they live with someone(boy can they ever.....)and that sucks bigtime.
It's sad when it happens and it hurts.But not everyone 'thankfully' is going to be like that.
Trust will come again with the right person,I speak from experience.
Chins up and keep smiling
And no hitting is never an allowable thing form either one.
It's sad when it happens and it hurts.But not everyone 'thankfully' is going to be like that.
Trust will come again with the right person,I speak from experience.
Chins up and keep smiling
And no hitting is never an allowable thing form either one.
Hi,
I tto, met someone last summer. He told me everything I wanted to hear. Well, too good to be true. He turned into a control freal, kept me away from family, even my daughter who lived with me.
I kicked him out after 9 months, he emptied our joint account.
I think it will take a long time before I fully trust again. Good lesson learned.
Take care and God bless,
Nina, Canada
I tto, met someone last summer. He told me everything I wanted to hear. Well, too good to be true. He turned into a control freal, kept me away from family, even my daughter who lived with me.
I kicked him out after 9 months, he emptied our joint account.
I think it will take a long time before I fully trust again. Good lesson learned.
Take care and God bless,
Nina, Canada
He was being himself. That was just another side of him.
He couldn't reveal that while you were dating. Only later.
Now, you could always "get thee to a nunnery" if you're afraid trust again.
He couldn't reveal that while you were dating. Only later.
Now, you could always "get thee to a nunnery" if you're afraid trust again.
Yes sorry that you had to go through that but when it comes to the trust issue you mentioned then i have to say that really sounds like something out of a paperback novel / romance book!
No no i am not being rude i know that it feels that way that you will never trust anyone again and so on. We all have been there in one way or another!
But if i may say so your situation was harmless compared to some of the other peoples experiences and they still trust.
So it is something that will happen again when the right person comes along.
Sure you are hurt and disappointed and you had enough but it will happen. And when that right person comes along you will trust him.
As others said, when that happens don't forget that he is NOT the guy who hurt you.
If you go into the relationship thinking that and comparing him and constantly making cross references then it is doomed right from the start.
Treat a new relationship like you have never had one before. Take the things you learned in previous relationships into account and value the knowledge you have gained but do not judge the guy for what your ex did.
As we all know there are always two sides to a story and i am sure you have had you faults in this relationship failing too. No offense intended but it is the way life goes. We all have our faults and make mistakes but as long as you learn from them its all good.
Hope you have better luck next time.
No no i am not being rude i know that it feels that way that you will never trust anyone again and so on. We all have been there in one way or another!
But if i may say so your situation was harmless compared to some of the other peoples experiences and they still trust.
So it is something that will happen again when the right person comes along.
Sure you are hurt and disappointed and you had enough but it will happen. And when that right person comes along you will trust him.
As others said, when that happens don't forget that he is NOT the guy who hurt you.
If you go into the relationship thinking that and comparing him and constantly making cross references then it is doomed right from the start.
Treat a new relationship like you have never had one before. Take the things you learned in previous relationships into account and value the knowledge you have gained but do not judge the guy for what your ex did.
As we all know there are always two sides to a story and i am sure you have had you faults in this relationship failing too. No offense intended but it is the way life goes. We all have our faults and make mistakes but as long as you learn from them its all good.
Hope you have better luck next time.
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