josingleinspain: YES thanx for what you all have replied so far. When she reads this it helps on some level to cope with what happened. It will take a very, very long time I think before the fishing starts again if it ever will again. The mess of it all can put a person of the humans race and as for trust not sure when it will be something that she can ever do again. She feels so embarrased that she was not clever enough to see what was going to happen. She feels stupid for believing him and trusting in him to get married to him. For giving so much to him and getting so much bad back. But I guess it is time to try and heal her life.
I don’t see what there’s for her to be ashamed of. We make good decisions and we make bad decisions – it’s human. No one knows the other person to 100%, they can always surprise you even if you lived together for many years and thought that you know everything about them. You knew a lot, yes, but not éverything.
I think the most important task for her now is to concentrate on her own life, to find a way to make it better. She ought to draw conclusions of that bad experience in order not to repeat her mistakes in the future, and then put the whole thing behind her. To be free of him even emotionally.
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I don’t see what there’s for her to be ashamed of. We make good decisions and we make bad decisions – it’s human. No one knows the other person to 100%, they can always surprise you even if you lived together for many years and thought that you know everything about them. You knew a lot, yes, but not éverything.
I think the most important task for her now is to concentrate on her own life, to find a way to make it better. She ought to draw conclusions of that bad experience in order not to repeat her mistakes in the future, and then put the whole thing behind her. To be free of him even emotionally.