On the dole and dating (53)
I see I am the only one that must really want to know something like that early in a relationship that's ok I don't mind being different 
Thanks to those who looked even though you did not post or vote 
I will just let this thread die 
Thanks to those who looked even though you did not post or vote I will just let this thread die ------ This poll is Archived ------
What a person does for a living is a question that I ask early in the "getting to know him" stage. We all have our preferences, they make us who we are. It's not a bad thing to want a self supporting man with no children. If you went with that and it wasn't what you wanted you wouldn't be happy and therefore neither would your partner. It's good to be honest and straight forward.
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i asked someone about this dole thing a few weeks back after reading an article about it and what i was told took me by surprise.
See, this dole is not available in my country so i had no idea what it was. So if i'm wrong in my idea of how it works, i'd gladly listen. It was explained to me that if someone is unemployed he or she can file for unemployment in a certain office and collect a subsidy from the government which is just about enough for one person to live by. Also that it's more difficult for people who have dependents and contractual employees who are paid little don't get the benefit of a dole. The person also said that a lot of people just refuse to get a job and declare unemployment because they get more from the dole than if they're working and so they choose to be unemployed and just receive money form the govt. For me that is unacceptable. Now if taking into consideration that the person has kids too, i'd be really worried if i'm not told about this from the start. It's a sensitive topic but important nonetheless. I try to earn my own living for the needs and comfort i have, and a person who chooses to do swindle the govt with taxes that i pay when he can well work is not very appealing. Sounds (or is already) a free loader.
See, this dole is not available in my country so i had no idea what it was. So if i'm wrong in my idea of how it works, i'd gladly listen. It was explained to me that if someone is unemployed he or she can file for unemployment in a certain office and collect a subsidy from the government which is just about enough for one person to live by. Also that it's more difficult for people who have dependents and contractual employees who are paid little don't get the benefit of a dole. The person also said that a lot of people just refuse to get a job and declare unemployment because they get more from the dole than if they're working and so they choose to be unemployed and just receive money form the govt. For me that is unacceptable. Now if taking into consideration that the person has kids too, i'd be really worried if i'm not told about this from the start. It's a sensitive topic but important nonetheless. I try to earn my own living for the needs and comfort i have, and a person who chooses to do swindle the govt with taxes that i pay when he can well work is not very appealing. Sounds (or is already) a free loader.
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MarieLeveau: What a person does for a living is a question that I ask early in the "getting to know him" stage. We all have our preferences, they make us who we are. It's not a bad thing to want a self supporting man with no children. If you went with that and it wasn't what you wanted you wouldn't be happy and therefore neither would your partner. It's good to be honest and straight forward.
I love your screen name. I agree with you. Sad I did not think to ask something like that. When asked what he did for a living his reply was activist. When I questioned more he said helping others that were less fortunate. Next time I will be smarter and ask do you get a pay check with that
to me self supporting does not mean living off the system. Retirement is one thing. Young and no ambition another 
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1Bell4truth: I am curious about something that happened to me a few months back. I was emailing back and forth with a man and thought things were going really good. Sadly there are some things one never thinks to ask when getting to know someone. Yet these things can make a difference. I think most of us have preferences. I myself like single men. No children. Self supporting. I have gotten a lot of flack because of the last two. No children and self supporting. Flack all you want it is what I am looking for. So why waste ones time. How long should one wait whilst emailing someone to say hey by the way I am on the dole and I also have custody of my child. We emailed and skyped for quite sometime. I ended up finding out from someone else he had a child and was on the dole. With no initiative to getting off the dole. I aspire to be all I can be in life. And I just don't feel that I can be that if others are taking care of me. So I want someone who is headed in the same direction. You don't have to be rich just self supporting. To much to ask? It bothered me not being told with in a reasonable amount of time. I hope he has learned and tells other women before they start talking of serious relationship. I do wish him the best on his search. This is not intended to bash men or women on the dole. Life sometimes deals people bad hands. I just found it odd he thought something like this would not matter to me. Rather amusing. I know some will find this a hot button topic remember we are all adults
You are on the dole, and have custody of a child, yet you took hearsay evidence of his status without discussing it with him. you condemn him for being on the dole, yet you yourself are in the same position.
It seems you were looking for a meal ticket and when you found he was in the same position dumped him IMO he is well rid of you.
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plainlyjune: i asked someone about this dole thing a few weeks back after reading an article about it and what i was told took me by surprise.
See, this dole is not available in my country so i had no idea what it was. So if i'm wrong in my idea of how it works, i'd gladly listen. It was explained to me that if someone is unemployed he or she can file for unemployment in a certain office and collect a subsidy from the government which is just about enough for one person to live by. Also that it's more difficult for people who have dependents and contractual employees who are paid little don't get the benefit of a dole. The person also said that a lot of people just refuse to get a job and declare unemployment because they get more from the dole than if they're working and so they choose to be unemployed and just receive money form the govt. For me that is unacceptable. Now if taking into consideration that the person has kids too, i'd be really worried if i'm not told about this from the start. It's a sensitive topic but important nonetheless. I try to earn my own living for the needs and comfort i have, and a person who chooses to do swindle the govt with taxes that i pay when he can well work is not very appealing. Sounds (or is already) a free loader.
It is a sensitive subject. More so when you are looking to date. I know here unemployment just barely meets ones needs and in my state does not even do that. To have no ambition really is what bothered me. To not want to actually work. I could not understand. To not let someone know when you are discussing a future with them is deceitful in my opinion. That is what I was wondering. When do they usually tell? What is the socialiably acceptable time. I had never run into this before to my knowledge. See, this dole is not available in my country so i had no idea what it was. So if i'm wrong in my idea of how it works, i'd gladly listen. It was explained to me that if someone is unemployed he or she can file for unemployment in a certain office and collect a subsidy from the government which is just about enough for one person to live by. Also that it's more difficult for people who have dependents and contractual employees who are paid little don't get the benefit of a dole. The person also said that a lot of people just refuse to get a job and declare unemployment because they get more from the dole than if they're working and so they choose to be unemployed and just receive money form the govt. For me that is unacceptable. Now if taking into consideration that the person has kids too, i'd be really worried if i'm not told about this from the start. It's a sensitive topic but important nonetheless. I try to earn my own living for the needs and comfort i have, and a person who chooses to do swindle the govt with taxes that i pay when he can well work is not very appealing. Sounds (or is already) a free loader.
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tomcatwarne: You are on the dole, and have custody of a child, yet you took hearsay evidence of his status without discussing it with him. you condemn him for being on the dole, yet you yourself are in the same position.It seems you were looking for a meal ticket and when you found he was in the same position dumped him IMO he is well rid of you.
Don't know who you are talking to but I am not on the dole and have had the good fortune of never having to be. Thank you for your input 
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1Bell4truth: Don't know who you are talking to but I am not on the dole and have had the good fortune of never having to be. Thank you for your input
Well in my opinion, with your attitude he can do far better elsewhwere, That is just my opinion from what I know.
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you expressed my sentiment about the subject more clearly bell. I understand people can go through tough times, but it's the nondisclosure that bothers me first and foremost, and then the attitude of just giving up. Mind i knew a man from CS who said he's been on the dole for 3 years and yet he has the audacity to announce his many hobbies and causes when he's not doing anything about his own cause. I suppose it's all about priorities
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tomcatwarne: You are on the dole, and have custody of a child, yet you took hearsay evidence of his status without discussing it with him. you condemn him for being on the dole, yet you yourself are in the same position.It seems you were looking for a meal ticket and when you found he was in the same position dumped him IMO he is well rid of you.
I think you might of misunderstood what I wrote your answer was not factual about the post. Sorry if this struck a nerve with you. ------ This poll is Archived ------
tomcatwarne: Well in my opinion, with your attitude he can do far better elsewhwere, That is just my opinion from what I know.
Good for him I do wish him well 
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plainlyjune: you expressed my sentiment about the subject more clearly bell. I understand people can go through tough times, but it's the nondisclosure that bothers me first and foremost, and then the attitude of just giving up. Mind i knew a man from CS who said he's been on the dole for 3 years and yet he has the audacity to announce his many hobbies and causes when he's not doing anything about his own cause. I suppose it's all about priorities
Thank you for understanding my english. I was about to doubt it. I am from Florida we talk urban country here. 
It seems to go on the trust factor. There are so many things that one forgets to ask that are important. I just felt that would of been information one would of offered. I know I would have offered to tell.
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If someone wasn't upfront with me about something from the very begining regardless of their income or no income at all I'd been upset too.
I'd been wondering what else are they keeping from me.
I'd been wondering what else are they keeping from me.
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Ccincy: If someone wasn't upfront with me about something from the very begining regardless of their income or no income at all I'd been upset too.
I'd been wondering what else are they keeping from me.
It seems some are really good at keeping things hidden. Hope your weekend is a good one. I'd been wondering what else are they keeping from me.
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There are two sides to every story, the other person has not had the opportunity to put their side. The OP has based her accusations on heresay. To slate someone like this on an international forum without their opportunity to answer back is most unfair. Using CS like this does not say much for the OP IMO
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1Bell4truth: I see I am the only one that must really want to know something like that early in a relationship that's ok I don't mind being different Thanks to those who looked even though you did not post or vote I will just let this thread die
Well my opinion is taht those 2 subjects are discussed usually on the 1st date if not before, what parent wouldnt talk of his child i.e.I know C.P.R.
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tomcatwarne: There are two sides to every story, the other person has not had the opportunity to put their side. The OP has based her accusations on heresay. To slate someone like this on an international forum without their opportunity to answer back is most unfair. Using CS like this does not say much for the OP IMO
Like I used to tell my son "Life isn't fair sometimes it just stinks.LOL!!!!
I do agree that she was basing her opinion on someone else's gossip which wasn't fair to that guy but, haven't most of our opinions been based on just someone's gossip here on CS?
It's her preference to want a man who is self supporting and without children just like it's anyone elses right to want someone with children.
I'm not about to pass judgement on the OP or the man without hearing both sides.
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Ccincy: Like I used to tell my son "Life isn't fair sometimes it just stinks.LOL!!!!
I do agree that she was basing her opinion on someone else's gossip which wasn't fair to that guy but, haven't most of our opinions been based on just someone's gossip here on CS?
It's her preference to want a man who is self supporting and without children just like it's anyone elses right to want someone with children.
I'm not about to pass judgement on the OP or the man without hearing both sides.
I do agree that she was basing her opinion on someone else's gossip which wasn't fair to that guy but, haven't most of our opinions been based on just someone's gossip here on CS?
It's her preference to want a man who is self supporting and without children just like it's anyone elses right to want someone with children.
I'm not about to pass judgement on the OP or the man without hearing both sides.
Yes you are right but it just gets to me when someone is slated on an international forum and has no opportunity to defend themselves.
Her preferences are her own affair, would it not have been better to get on with her life without slating someone else with accusations which may or may not be true.
I have no personal interest in this affair, but the principal of someone being judgemental when there is no chance of the other person setting the record straight goes against the grain a bit.
I have no further interest in this incident.
Good luck and happy Christmas to everyone who posted in this thread
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tomcatwarne: There are two sides to every story, the other person has not had the opportunity to put their side. The OP has based her accusations on heresay. To slate someone like this on an international forum without their opportunity to answer back is most unfair. Using CS like this does not say much for the OP IMO
Thank you once more for your opinion. How have I slated someone who is this someone? Do you see his name? I actually have been very gracious with a question deserving an answer. Though some think they are mind readers here actually it was not heresay to me but it is heresay to you because you are hearing about it from me. So if you can give me name who I have drug through the coals of slating maybe then we could seek for this person to appear. Yes there are two sides of every story. But the question is when does one reveal this information to another they are pursuing? I actually like the guy I do not like being deceived. If the question is to difficult for you to answer no problem just don't answer. But thank you once again for putting in your effort to answer something------ This poll is Archived ------
mitsos: Well my opinion is taht those 2 subjects are discussed usually on the 1st date if not before, what parent wouldnt talk of his child i.e.
I know C.P.R.
I know C.P.R.
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Ccincy: Like I used to tell my son "Life isn't fair sometimes it just stinks.LOL!!!!
I do agree that she was basing her opinion on someone else's gossip which wasn't fair to that guy but, haven't most of our opinions been based on just someone's gossip here on CS?
It's her preference to want a man who is self supporting and without children just like it's anyone elses right to want someone with children.
I'm not about to pass judgement on the OP or the man without hearing both sides.
I do not want people to pass judgement just answer a simple question I don't know why he even brought judgement into it. So if he wants to pass judgement on me that is fine. I have big shoulders I can live with itI do agree that she was basing her opinion on someone else's gossip which wasn't fair to that guy but, haven't most of our opinions been based on just someone's gossip here on CS?
It's her preference to want a man who is self supporting and without children just like it's anyone elses right to want someone with children.
I'm not about to pass judgement on the OP or the man without hearing both sides.
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tomcatwarne: Yes you are right but it just gets to me when someone is slated on an international forum and has no opportunity to defend themselves.
Her preferences are her own affair, would it not have been better to get on with her life without slating someone else with accusations which may or may not be true.I have no personal interest in this affair, but the principal of someone being judgemental when there is no chance of the other person setting the record straight goes against the grain a bit.
I have no further interest in this incident.
Good luck and happy Christmas to everyone who posted in this thread
If the thread is wrong you have the option to report it. I did not make it with the intent you have turned it into. I am sure you know where the report button is. I have tried to be gracious to you trying to turn this into something it is not. So maybe we are not communicating in a way where we are understanding each other. So thank you for all your input.Her preferences are her own affair, would it not have been better to get on with her life without slating someone else with accusations which may or may not be true.I have no personal interest in this affair, but the principal of someone being judgemental when there is no chance of the other person setting the record straight goes against the grain a bit.
I have no further interest in this incident.
Good luck and happy Christmas to everyone who posted in this thread
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1Bell4truth: If the thread is wrong you have the option to report it. I did not make it with the intent you have turned it into. I am sure you know where the report button is. I have tried to be gracious to you trying to turn this into something it is not. So maybe we are not communicating in a way where we are understanding each other. So thank you for all your input.
Well I think you have now shown you want to argue the matter after I extended my hand.
It is stupid to bring in reporting this matter to the mods, I just called it as I saw it, it was my opinion, which I am entitles to.
This matter was a difference of opinion and not anything to do with reporting, no rules have been infringed.
If you don't like my opinions just ignore them.
I suppose you had to have the last word,
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tomcatwarne: Well I think you have now shown you want to argue the matter after I extended my hand.It is stupid to bring in reporting this matter to the mods, I just called it as I saw it, it was my opinion, which I am entitles to.
This matter was a difference of opinion and not anything to do with reporting, no rules have been infringed.If you don't like my opinions just ignore them.I suppose you had to have the last word,
You are entitled to your opinion never said you weren't I do not want to argue. Where did I say that? I just want the thread to stay on the topic of how long does one wait till they tell someone that. Your opinion is more than welcomed here. After all did you not say there are two sides to every story? I am new I thought the way you were carrying on I had done a no no that is why I said to report itThis matter was a difference of opinion and not anything to do with reporting, no rules have been infringed.If you don't like my opinions just ignore them.I suppose you had to have the last word,
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1Bell4truth: You are entitled to your opinion never said you weren't I do not want to argue. Where did I say that? I just want the thread to stay on the topic of how long does one wait till they tell someone that. Your opinion is more than welcomed here. After all did you not say there are two sides to every story? I am new I thought the way you were carrying on I had done a no no that is why I said to report it
The topic was "on the dole and dating"
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1Bell4truth: I am curious about something that happened to me a few months back. I was emailing back and forth with a man and thought things were going really good. Sadly there are some things one never thinks to ask when getting to know someone. Yet these things can make a difference. I think most of us have preferences. I myself like single men. No children. Self supporting. I have gotten a lot of flack because of the last two. No children and self supporting. Flack all you want it is what I am looking for. So why waste ones time. How long should one wait whilst emailing someone to say hey by the way I am on the dole and I also have custody of my child. We emailed and skyped for quite sometime. I ended up finding out from someone else he had a child and was on the dole. With no initiative to getting off the dole. I aspire to be all I can be in life. And I just don't feel that I can be that if others are taking care of me. So I want someone who is headed in the same direction. You don't have to be rich just self supporting. To much to ask? It bothered me not being told with in a reasonable amount of time. I hope he has learned and tells other women before they start talking of serious relationship. I do wish him the best on his search. This is not intended to bash men or women on the dole. Life sometimes deals people bad hands. I just found it odd he thought something like this would not matter to me. Rather amusing. I know some will find this a hot button topic remember we are all adults
You have failed to disclose how you came to this conclusion. I would imagine someone who wants to get to know you and develop a future wouldn’t disclose this to you. So , I would have to say, with reasonable assumption, that you are relying on this other persons view of the situation and therefore based your decision on gossip. Seems you haven’t been very fair and impartial to this fan of yours.
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tomcatwarne: The topic was "on the dole and dating"
When you make a poll it has a part where it says to tell about it. You can only use so many characters on the title. So in the body it basically tells what I was polling. Maybe the title should of been something else. I did not think people would just jump in without reading. So I can expect alot of this happiness then and no answers is what you are saying. Ok then I will just hope some actually read it and post something that will be relevant to the actual question. Thank you see I told your opinions were valuable I now know be carefull with titles ------ This poll is Archived ------
purr4mance: You have failed to disclose how you came to this conclusion. I would imagine someone who wants to get to know you and develop a future wouldn’t disclose this to you. So , I would have to say, with reasonable assumption, that you are relying on this other persons view of the situation and therefore based your decision on gossip. Seems you haven’t been very fair and impartial to this fan of yours.
He was in a news paper article. A female friend showed me. I would rather not post the link. That would just be to tacky. And he is nice just not what I am looking for ------ This poll is Archived ------
1Bell4truth: He was in a news paper article. A female friend showed me. I would rather not post the link. That would just be to tacky. And he is nice just not what I am looking for
So you met him through a friend who showed you a personal type ad.
Now I understand.
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Created: Dec 2012
Last Viewed: 21 hrs ago
Last Commented: Dec 2012
Last Voted: Jul 2017
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On the dole and dating(Vote Below)