I was once where you are 9 years ago and, to be honest, I DON'T miss that overwhelming state of mind and feeling! I'm grateful that I no longer experience that absolute loss of hope for things to get better - but only IF someone else got to make my decisions and/or decide my fate. It took me reaching my own bottom of the barrel -as in I had to lose everything before I became willing to start clawing my way back out into the light. In 3 short months, with a lot of supportive conversations, I started to notice I did deserve to breathe the same air as everyone else. Today, I am simply me. Back then I felt like I had nothing left to lose, but now I realize how fortunate I was to survive my past and myself - and I feel like I have too much to lose-because I have a me now. I thank the fact that I found a Higher Power (something more powerful than humans that can make a universe from scratch) because I would have missed out on an incredible life, and it's only just begun! I'm not at all religious, but I am VERY spiritual: my Higher Power is my bus and that bus has a brake, steering wheel and brakes. To move my bus forward I have to contribute in some ways. The irony of this for me, is that the only obstacle that continuously seems to try to bar the way to peace, is me: as in past unresolved experiences and my onetime perception (which is just one of many realities)that everyone on the planet was a predator and I their prey if I let my guard down - ever. I sincerely hope you also find supporters who let you talk and work it out - based on your own decisions, wants and needs. Best of luck to you fan86. Mark
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RE: Childhood Memories
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