You can't take responsibility for anyone but you (& your small children of course) I've been where you are...maybe try to stop trying to be the obedient, loving, understanding daughter and give yourself half a chance? Life's too short to spend it pleasing everyone else honey.
Somewhere in there you have to have some "it IS all about me" time. Sometimes it's hard to say no to everyone else's demands, sometimes it's real easy. The more you practice the better it gets.
RE: so where are all the gorgeous 50+ ladies
we're about....figuring out who we are (now that we have it's all about me time) and what we want
then watch out...cause when we're done doing that?