Of course it's not right. But There are too many 'old school' (& a few young ones as well) fellows feel too threatened to allow shaking off the "patriarchal" society rules..
S'all about power ... we are still very much in its grip
CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL YOU KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1920's, 30' 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!
We survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer. Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bag. Riding in the back of a Ute on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonalds, KFC, Subway or Red Rooster. Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn't open on the weekends, somehow we didn't starve to death! We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy fruit tingles and some crackers to blow up frogs with. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because...... WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were OK. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and cubby houses and played in creek beds with matchbox cars. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms.....WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no Lawsuits from these accidents. Only girls had pierced ears! We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross buns at Easter time.......no really!!! We were given BB guns and sling shots for our 10th birthdays, We drank milk laced with Strontium 90 from cows that had eaten grass covered in nuclear fallout from the atomic testing at Maralinga in 956. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them! Mum didn't have to go to work to help dad make ends meet! Footy had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! Our teachers used to belt us with big sticks and leather straps and bullies always ruled the playground at school. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! Our parents got married before they had children and didn't invent stupid names for their kids like "Kiora" and "Blade" Kids from these generations became some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 70 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
Big John is right! Make a decision to accept now for what it is. That's not saying pretend the past doesn't exist, it's saying you have had some experience that cannot be changed, and now is where you live.
You learn to trust again, little by little. My own experiences tell me it's a slow process but if you approach it with love in your heart and a sunny outlook it's not such a hard process.
Start a journal... Figure out what you will and won't accept. No ifs or buts... what interests you? do you have hobbies you enjoy? do you enjoy gardening? getting in touch with the earth is very soul-restoring for some Respect yourself - you are worth 'squillions'.
Try a daily reading from DailyOm.com - they helped me understand a lot about me when I needed to, just by stirring my thoughts a little.
And the wonderful folk on CS will support you. Sometimes you don't even need to ask... do what you have just done.. put it "on paper" and someone will respond.
? There is one God; the Eternal, the Only Being, None exists save God
(doesn't matter what name you apply I thought)
? There is one Master; the Guiding Spirit of all souls, who constantly leads all followers toward the Light ? There is one Holy Book; the Sacred Manuscript of Nature, the only Scripture that can enlighten the reader ? There is one Religion; the unswerving progress in the right direction, toward the Ideal, which fulfills the life's purpose of every soul ? There is one Law; the Law of Reciprocity, which can be observed by a selfless conscience together with a sense of awakened justice ? There is one Family; the Human Family, which unites the Children of Earth indiscriminately in the Parenthood of God ? There is one Moral Principle; the Love which springs forth from a willing heart, surrendered in service to God and Humanity, and which blooms in deeds of beneficence ? There is one Object of Praise; the Beauty which uplifts the heart of its worshipper through all aspects, from the seen to the unseen ? There is one Truth; the true knowledge of our being, within and without, which is the essence of Wisdom ? There is one Path; the effacement of the limited self in the Unlimited, which raises the mortal to immortality, in which resides all Perfection
now that things have changed and I am returning to the use of my family name. what a freakin nightmare....
I'm not asking for the crown jewels...just that you accept that with ID (marriage & birth certs - both of which have my family name prominently displayed sir!) I actually was once known as who I say I want to be known as again.
Men of the world... be thankful that the tradition is for women to adopt the use their husband's surname.
lesson learned - if there's a next time? I won't be 'changing' my identity.
ZZ Top - gimme all your loving Guns n Roses - sweet child o mine Jackson n McCartney - say say say Pat Benatar - Love is a Battlefield Queen - I want it all
anything by Starship, Billy Joel, Phil Collins, Annie Lennox, Foreigner
mine was getting to 50 and realising it was actually ok to be me -shedding my parents' skin ! -I actually have my own opinions! - nothing like theirs at all -realising you don't need a partner to be 'whole' -figuring out lots of amazing stuff
Whoa there. That's pretty judgmental don't you think? Many, many women of my generation married way too young - we were products of our conditioning. You can bet we certainly did not have kids for the fun of it. Like others, I'm lucky to have gotten out of it alive. And I AM serious about that.
I agree, today's kids are generally not so well behaved - lots of circumstances drive that - but they're not bad kids. Just a little lost.
My comment was, as I said in reply earlier, an observation. I find it sad that young people feel they need to be "in a relationship" to have any meaning to their lives. Perhaps that's just a reflection of their 'conditioning'.
JayTee Forum Posts (35)
RE: What music are you listening to right now (MK 3)
Andrea Bocelli / Secret Garden / Santana / Enigma / Clannad