Livelife36 Forum Posts (11)

Men - how important are LOOKS, really?

Hi guys
This is a question for relationship-minded men and men who would be more than happy to get into an LTR if the right woman came along.

How important are a woman's LOOKS? (for you to want to be with her in a relationship)

Simple question, but lots of women(including me) think about it!

Thanks for your input!

Emma

How can a woman find out what a man is looking for?

Thanks Darren.

That's really useful for me to know. I feel like I already understand guys better.

I feel that I may put a man off if he's a (B) sort of guy, rather than an (A) sort of guy.

I'll take things nice and easy for first few dates and see how he acts. Thanks for pointing all that stuff out about what you do if you like a woman.

Best of luck in your search. May the sunshine warm us all!

Emma

How can a woman find out what a man is looking for?

Ah, in sales you must get asked tough questions a lot!

I guess I'm interested because I really want to find a guy who shares my interest in getting into an LTR.

I've met men who turn out only to want something casual, and rather than spend lots of dates and weeks with them, I'd love to meet a guy who shares my goal from the outset.

And a lot of dating advice says "ask what the other person is looking for on first date" so I guess I thought I'd check with men to see how this goes down.

And responses are mixed. Even on this post. Some guys are saying they'd feel a bit uncomfortable if asked on a first date. Others are saying: "yeah, ask away!"

As much as I want to avoid guys who only want something casual, I don't want to put a potentially great guy off on a first date.

So that's why it's great to get feedback from guys like you.

Thanks again Chris.

I hope you find what you're "looking for" (lol!)

Emma

How can a woman find out what a man is looking for?

Hi Darren,

Sorry to trouble you again - I've been thinking about this for a while and just wanted to check something, if I may.

It seems like guys can be in different mindsets:

Some guys seem to be quite relationship-minded and interested in getting into an LTR.

Other guys seem to be less set on it, but still opento getting into one, if the right woman comes along

I guess my thought was - if a man is (actively) looking to get into a relationship, then he won't mind me asking "What are you looking for?" In fact, he may even ask ME, to see if I too want to get into a relationship.

My other thought was - if a man isn't actively looking to get into an LTR, if he's in the "open to getting into one" category, maybe THEN he gets put off because he isn't quite as clear in his intention as the woman is

I was just wondering if I could ask you:

Would you describe yourself as

(A) Actively looking to get into a relationship

or

(B) Wanting to see how things go whilst being open to getting into a relationship if the right woman comes along

Thanks again for your help!

Emma

How can a woman find out what a man is looking for?

Hi Chris,

Thanks again for your comments.

Interesting that you don't think it would put someone off.

May I ask how you'd respond if a woman asked you?

I.e. If you were on a first date with a woman, who seemed pretty cool, and she then asked you:

"So, what are you looking for?"

How would you feel? And what would you say?

I ask because other guys (in this post for example) say they would be a bit put off if I asked this on a first date...

Thanks again Chris

Emma

How can a woman find out what a man is looking for?

Hi Chris,

Thanks for your comment.

I guess my thinking was it might put off some men (maybe those who would like to "see how things go")

May I ask if you're looking for a relationship (and, if so, how you would respond to the question?)

Emma

How can a woman find out what a man is looking for?

Hi jonnt,

Thanks for your reply.

The thing is - I know what I want - a committed relationship. I know that takes time to get into, but that's where I want to be.

And I'd like to find out asap from a man whether he wants the same thing.

I'd be happy to say on a first date: "I'm looking to get into a relationship,"

but I'm worried that might scare some guys off (who might have wanted a relationship at some stage)

Thanks for your message!

Emma

How can a woman find out what a man is looking for?

Hi Darren,

Thanks again for your message. It makes a lot of sense!

I want to find out what a man wants as soon as I can, but I don't want to scare him off.

I think I can probably wait till date 3, though, lol!

I like your idea that I should look out for how he talks and behaves towards me. If he does those nice things, then he probably doesn't want just a casual fling. I'll look out for that in future!

I can see how "So what are you looking for?" might be too blunt on a first date. Thanks for helping me realize that.

I'll bide my time and then maybe bring it up on 3rd date or so.

Have a great day!

Emma

How can a woman find out what a man is looking for?

Hi Estate,

Thanks for your reply. I really appreciate it.

That's what I'd do online yes - some emails at least, and then maybe I'd ask: "So what are you looking for?"

Also, I can see in a man's profile if he says he's looking for "long-term" or "casual" or whatever.

But what if I meet a guy in "real life" and he asks me out?

I don't want to get involved with a guy who only wants something casual.

What would you recommend I say/ask (and when) so as not to put him off?

Thanks again!

Emma

How can a woman find out what a man is looking for?

Hi Darren,

Thanks so much for your reply. It's really useful to hear it from a man!

I had a feeling it might put guys off if I asked something like that on a first date.

Thing is I don't really want to go on three dates with a man who may just want something casual.

My girlfriends say:

"If a man wants to get into a relationship, he won't mind you asking what he's looking for on a first date. He'll just say: "I'm looking to get into a relationship" because that's the truth"

But that's my girlfriends. You're a man and clearly know men
more than they do!

I'd sooner take your advice!

So what if I went on 2-3 dates with a man and then brought it up?

Also, how would you recommend I do it?

You can probably empathize with me - I don't want to get more and more involved with a guy who may just want something casual.

Suppose I go on 2-3 nice dates with a guy, but still don't know if only wants something casual.

What should I say on date 3 to find out?

Thanks again Darren!

Best

Emma

P.S. That's a very nice pic of you!

How can a woman find out what a man is looking for?

Hi guys,

I have a question for the men, especially the men who are looking to get into a relationship

I'm a woman in her thirties and I'm looking to get into a long-term relationship. I'm not interested in anything casual.

And I was just wondering what's the best way to find out what a man wants if you meet him offline.

If you're a commitment-minded man, how would you feel if a woman asked you on a first date:

"So, what are you looking for?"

My reasoning was: If I ask this, the guy can say:

(A) "Just something casual"

or

(B) "I'd like to get into a relationship"

And then we both know where we stand after just one date.

Otherwise I could be dating a man who just wants something casual, not knowing that.

And we could be on different wavelengths,

So for all the men who want relationships, what do you think of my strategy of asking: "So, What are you looking for?" on an early date?

Pros? Cons?

Emma