I would yes. being separated myself i can really relate. As to why ive been separated 4 years well, its just like the post of going back and forth. For 4 years I was played like a yo yo by my x wife. yes i want you , no I dont, Yes i do etc etc. 3 years of this hoping and thinking it would get fixed. Last year of this I had had enough and finally ended it myself and basically just going through the formality of divorce.
Im actually kind of glad it went this way. Gave me the time i needed to get over the whole going back thing, and a year by myself (more really counting the 3 prior years was like being alone) has made me able to open up to find other people. No baggage or emotional issues.
It still does make it rough tho people see separated they get immediately worried. My situation isnt unique im sure its happened to people before. I wish i could do something about it faster but things like this take time. Saying your divorced while separated is outright lieing and gets you no where. Putting all the cards on the table from the jump at least shows some sincerity and trustworthyness to a point.
I can honestly say from our last encounter that performance was not the issue. Ill leave that to the imagination and im not boasting my own ego you can just tell these things.
You are right tho and it didnt sting a bit. That can be an issue but from what I can gather from that day, im pretty safe in that department. I really didnt understand what the deal was. I knew something was wrong and not right but not sure what. To admit it herself it felt right, and was great, but to blow it all to hell because of some fear kinda kills me. Just the fact of looking to date somebody and not knowing if your ready is a killer. I must just be different in knowing when im ready and when im not.
As far as me pushing things, big no. I was not the agressor as I said and usually I am not becuase im kinda reserved and shy it was all her. I didnt even expect or think it would go where it went, but it did.
Do i regret it? No. If it wasnt for this I could see myself with her still. Do I think she would ever change her mind and realize what she gave up .. Doubtfull. Usually when you get this its the "ive had enough of you or got what i wanted .. Next!!" type of thing.
I thought i had good instincts. Maybe i just played myself thinking something this good could happen. Cant dwell on it but still is not a good way to treat people. Especially when you give them 110% and more if you can.
I wasnt fair anyway .. cant really get joy out of something youve only been on a day. I dont expect anything tho. But like i said, crazier things have happened.
Think i might be to average for love, and just enough chattyness to have friends..lol
No No not that your pathetic .. I would never say that .. Me being pathetic is more like it.. You know why i think so as well from my little story..lol
Have met people but find it hard still with so many people from so many different places. I have only connected with people tho a couple times. Most of the time I end up on the short end of the stick cuz of to many people still clingling to the past or some X of theres or just plain not ready for what your offering, only its already to late for that and they have hurt somebody.
Im still waiting to find out if it can really happen.
Think mine is pretty much to the point of what I want and dont want. Im also not that comlplicated or hard to please either. Just seems I still attract the opposite of what im really looking for ..lol
I just started jumping in the threads for the heck of it but I am also new here. About 1 day new. Hate to say im skeptical about this mainly cuz I have tried it before with very little success but im open minded enough to give it a shot.
I wont go into im a nice guy etc etc. Lets just say I know what I want, how i want to treat somebody, and when I have done that with all I have, Ive gotten the "excuse".
That could be any number of the I dunno if this is what I want, or im not ready for this, or any other what I call excuses like that.
Believe me I know it is true is some cases. Just wish I didnt happen to meet them all and find out after I had feelings for them, they werent ready.
Well if you are "READY" and not closed down to new people, then shoot me a message and youll see what I mean by wanting to treat somebody like you really care.
Was great .. Until i got the speech of im not ready for all this the day or so after and havent heard from her since. Very hard to handle but hey girls, at least you get to see a woman do to a man what alot of men have the rep of doing to women. I dont condone it on either side, but feel my pain cuz it hurt.
Dont mind it. I wouldnt go as far as slobbing all over each other in a public mall where there are kids and such but it has its place and times or degree's i would have to say as to how far you caryy it and where. At home tho its no holds barred. lol
Hard enough being in love with one let alone 2. Probably can happen but then you got a serious choice to make or your gonna hurt 3 people. Not just the 2 "your" in love with but your gonna hurt yourself trying to juggle that. Best to just do like I do. Stick with one person at a time and see how each goes before moving on. Saves a whole lotta hurt feelings.
Where has the time gone. I remember watching the ball as well when i wa sin high school mid 80's. Im only 33 but it makes me feel ancient that this is history to me..lol
I dont want this taken as a rant or anything just an experience I have had happen to many times. If there are threads on this I apologize. I posted something like this elsewhere but I had been dateing somebody for a couple weeks. To make it short we got very close in those 2 weeks, they were local, and there wasnt much we didnt do together. Mind you none of what happened was really my idea as im fairly shy and dont usually become the aggressor in any relationship. This time she was and we talked about ALOT of things prior to our first meeting. Anyway we got close as I said and I thought things were going great. I thought it was right and couldnt get any better and thought we were meant to be together and I treated her like a queen cuz I usually do with somebody I care alot about.
I was asked by her to spend a weekend with her, and really looked forward to that I figured this was the weekend when she would open her heart completely cuz it seemed she had been holding back some out of fear of the newness etc which was understandable. With me tho im willing to take chances and go that extra mile to see if it is something real regardless of risk. Without risk nothing gained. Well friday comes, no word. Sat comes, no word. I tried contacting her no reply. Weekend ends and up comes monday when I get a email giving me the whole rap of its not you its me, im not sure im ready for all this etc etc. You know that whole speech. Like i said things went according to her plan not mine and how close we got was really all in her court and it sucked me in.
It just kills me how alot of people ask "where are all the nice men" or "why cant I find a decent guy to treat me well" or vice versa that of a guy asking this same thing of a woman. When somebody comes along and finally treats them like they want to be treated and its genuine not an act, you get this. The whole I dont know what i want or im not sure im ready deal. You really have to be carefull when you decide its my time to date or meet somebody. You may become close sometimes slow sometimes fast. Sometimes its good sometimes its bad. But when you start asking where are all the good men/women at start wondering about how many have been driven off or just given up due to situations like this where you may be ready and the best thing for somebody or it might just be the dream thing you wanted, yet the person your with is flaking out. At least be ready for what might happen especially if its intense like this was for me and seemed great, but ended up breaking my heart in the end.
Just my most recent experience with dating and why im skeptical there is really even somebody i will ever connect with.
Was told by an online friend after my last bout with this type of thing to try this. Skeptical cant even describe how i feel my chances are. But who knows.
If I wasnt alone i wouldnt be here. If I was able to find somebody in this area I wouldnt be here. Time restraints kind of got me locked out of the dateing loop. So im here Shyness... Can that still be used?? lol
Dont always think the men are messed up. I met somebody local and we dated for a couple weeks, all of which went very well. Clicked right from the start and during that two weeks got closer than I care to admit. After that 2 weeks the weekend came up. Told me she wanted me to spend the weekend with her. No prob I wanted to be with her to. Things i thought were awesome and you go through the whole cant stop thinking about them thing etc etc. Didnt hear from her all weekend and emailed and tried to find out if everything was ok. Got a email that gave me its not you its me im not sure im ready for all this. It was so right when we were together and I know this but im not sure im ready etc etc. Doesnt that get a little old? Doesnt somebody take a chance anymore? All in all broke my heart and possibly the worst weekend of my life.
Thats my horror story. So there are decent guys out there but this is what happens to us.. lol
Shysincerity Forum Posts (51)
RE: Would you take someone that's separated?
I would yes. being separated myself i can really relate. As to why ive been separated 4 years well, its just like the post of going back and forth. For 4 years I was played like a yo yo by my x wife. yes i want you , no I dont, Yes i do etc etc. 3 years of this hoping and thinking it would get fixed. Last year of this I had had enough and finally ended it myself and basically just going through the formality of divorce.Im actually kind of glad it went this way. Gave me the time i needed to get over the whole going back thing, and a year by myself (more really counting the 3 prior years was like being alone) has made me able to open up to find other people. No baggage or emotional issues.
It still does make it rough tho people see separated they get immediately worried. My situation isnt unique im sure its happened to people before. I wish i could do something about it faster but things like this take time. Saying your divorced while separated is outright lieing and gets you no where. Putting all the cards on the table from the jump at least shows some sincerity and trustworthyness to a point.
I just have to hope it doesnt run people off.