lovaboy Forum Posts (6,806)

Beat them Monday blues.......

looks quite the funky picture actually Tess.... you keeping it?? or still tinkering??..

Beat them Monday blues.......

you really should start drinking more..or get out more...lol... ..well ya webcam works fine i see???....

RE: Monday...

hangover????......

Beat them Monday blues.......

my pleasure Starr......

Beat them Monday blues.......

what the bloody hell you doin with them pictures....lol..mornin Tess.

Beat them Monday blues.......

Here are the top ten things that men know about women!

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Beat them Monday blues.......

see...told ya..keep smilin our kid...

RE: What's the time?

i cant tell the time....if the big hand is on the 11...and the little hand in near the 12.....its erm..............

RE: Monday...

Good morning Lola...go and rad my thread...beat the monday blues...perk you up a bit hunny...mondays are the worst....

RE: madeleines minute of hope

RE: How's this for a bummer?????

Well im sure that something good has come out of it all hun, regardless of the circumstances...??
What a w*****....

RE: Wembley

I agree with migene....10/10..or at least it will be when they sort the pitch out.....we are the home of the beautiful game...dont care what anybody says........

Beat them Monday blues.......

Everybody:you are more than welcome...Alison...no..i didnt wet the bed.. thought id overslept and dived up....5.30am!!!!...grrr.had a coffee....and thought id give ya`ll a smile...
And message to Welsh:Mate...i get the feeling that you are always a happy chap...good for you fella.......
Dave

Beat them Monday blues.......

lol....glad you enjoyed mate......mornin...

Beat them Monday blues.......

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.

After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.

"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly.

"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"

"He said you're going to die," she replied.





A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. In the stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled sound downstairs.

She went downstairs and looked around, still not finding her husband. Listening again, she could definitely hear moaning. She went down to the basement to find her husband, crouched in the corner facing the wall, sobbing.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked him.

"Remember when your father caught us together when you were 16?" he replied. "And remember, he said, I had two choices - I could either marry you, or spend the next 20 years in prison."

Baffled, she said, "Yes, I remember. So?"

"I would have gotten out today."

Beat them Monday blues.......

mornin there fella...what its all about mate....
Dave

Beat them Monday blues.......

Fellas.......your time has come...


What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections?
A whine and cheese party

How many men does it take to open a beer?

- None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

- Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

- It allows them to stand closer to the sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

- She starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

How do you fix a woman's watch?

- It doesn't matter. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men break wind more than women?

- Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

- The dog. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

- A woman that won't do what she's told.

I married Miss Right.

- I just didn't know her first name was Always.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months!

- I don't like to interrupt her.


Marriage is a three ring circus:

- Engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering.

My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"

- I said, "Dust!"

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman.

- Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Why do men die before their wives?

- They want to.

A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds section with the heading "Wife Wanted."

- The next day he received a hundred letters saying "You can have mine.

have a good one.....

Beat them Monday blues.......

Definitions Not in Dictionary
ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born
and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.
INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.

and MY Personal Favorite!!
WRINKLES:
Something other people have.
I have character lines

Ill be back...

RE: Have ya ever stop ta thunk that.......

The greatest of minds...you my friend.....must put a smirk on the face of even the most miserable of people i expect...... (you should try getting out more...lol)

RE: Coffee Cafe is Open

dont we moan???...lol....

RE: Coffee Cafe is Open

..with whut???....lol...please... .the cheesecake sounds fabulous...thank you...now thats service......with a smile....

RE: Coffee Cafe is Open

have you done a background check?? is her workrate ok?? i dont wanna be waitin for a cinnamon roll for over an hour...just like i waited for my coffee...etc..etc...blah blah..blah.....

RE: Coffee Cafe is Open

Ali...hi....trying to butter us up now...tell you what...ive spat feathers for an age now....
Im sure earl grey is a lovely tea without the after effects of a hangover......but yes..ive had a whiff of it...and its definitely not my cup of tea........

RE: Coffee Cafe is Open

eeeee..i dont know........ starbucks it is.......

RE: Coffee Cafe is Open

earl grey eh?? oo-er...hark at you.... hiya hun...how you doing??..just saw you and thought id say hello..while we`re socialising in Harleys cafe...bloody service is a bit slow though dont ya think?? Im spittin feathers here.......

RE: Take care...

hey you....stay put....right where you are!!..
Last time i looked..i didnt think you looked like a sunset missus...
And dont be thanking me for any mails.....ya a very nice lass indeed....so stay where you are...or else...

RE: Coffee Cafe is Open

could i have one of them gorgeous big cappucinios, that they sell at the speedway garage please???....god i miss em....lol.....

RE: is that one of the worst FA CUP FINALS ever seen? have your say..

bloody typical...coz you fancy the players!!...lol....it was a travesty.....robbed robbed we were...

RE: flim

RE: I am back!!!

buenas noches....