>>> The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are "the >>>seven >>>dwarfs" they get ushered in to see the Pope. >>> >>>Dopey leads the pack. >>> >>>"Dopey my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?" >>> >>>Dopey asks, "Excuse me, Your Excellency, but are there any dwarf >>>nuns in >>>Rome?" >>> >>>The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for! a >>>moment ! >>>and answers, No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome." >>> >>>In the background a few of the dwarfs begin giggling. >>> >>>Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them. >>> >>>Dopey turns back to face the Pope. >>> >>>"Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?" >>> >>>The Pope, puzzled again, thinks for a moment and then answers, "No >>>Dopey, >>>there are no dwarf nuns in all of Europe." >>> >>>This time all the other dwarfs burst into laughter. >>> >>>Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them all with an angry >>>glare. >>> >>>Dopey turns back to the Pope and says, "Mr. Pope, are there ANY >>>dwarf nuns >>>in the whole world?" >>> >>>The Pope answers, "I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns >>>anywhere in >>>the world." >>> >>>The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling, and laughing, >>>pounding on >>>the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks as they begin chanting: >>> >>>"Dopey screwed a penguin!" >>>"Dopey screwed a penguin!"
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what? A. Their birthplace -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested? A. Obsession ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"? A. One thousand ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common? A. All were invented by women. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil? A. Honey -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year? A. Father's Day ------------------------------------------------------------ ----------------------------- In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~ ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!
In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb" ------------------------------------------- Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language. ------------------------------------------- The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. ------------------------------------------- Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury. ------------------------------------------- Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. ------------------------------------------- Coca-Cola was originally green. ------------------------------------------- It is impossible to lick your elbow. ------------------------------------------- The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska ------------------------------------------- The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...) ------------------------------------------- The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38% ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs -Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If a statue in the park of a person on a horse, has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have been married 36 years. I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 36 years ago we had a cheap apartment, no car, no TV, no money, and we slept on a sofa bed, but I went to bed every night with a hot, good looking 18 year old. Now, we have a beautiful house, two nice cars, a king size bed, plenty of money and even a 50" screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 54 year old woman. It seems to me that you aren't holding up your end of things." Well, my wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find myself a hot 18 year old beautiful woman, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment with no car, no TV, no money, and sleeping on a sofa bed. Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis.
I rememebered when my friend i took to the city all the time, she use to steal.. me i never really did.. just being influenced 2 do it too be COOL..lol.. but she walked out of the store with a brand new pair of kicks,.. It was scary...
lol.. i thought you were talking about bill clintons daughter.. Well I hope she gets in, if she has the education, brains, and the background in the area, then she should be the President.. hey pucks go on the international forums and ask over there..lol.. and Night...
ummm, shes young and shes a women... have you seen a WOMEN president yet?? I havenot, since ive been alive.. but if she gets in Good For Her. I dont know pucks..lol.. just my 2 cents...
I caught it abit.. When Julie the Baby Enistein maker.. was clapped for.. I have everything Baby Enistein for my Son. And it has helped him lots in his development..
rezmama2005 Forum Posts (305)
New Name game..
annebella