Take a Break from work??? I'd be out of here and not come back. I'd defintely go the same route, holiday & partying and just spend the time with the people who mean the most
A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes,looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.
As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?" She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?" "Yes," was his incredulous reply.
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music, and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up, and he shouted at the parrot. The parrot shouted back. John shook the parrot, and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird, and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet; not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arm and said:
"I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour".
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird continued:
A young man called Paul invited his mother for dinner. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how handsome Paul's flatmate, Simon, was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Paul and his flatmate than met the eye. Reading his mums thoughts, Paul volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Simon & I are just flatmates".
About a week later, Simon came to Paul saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the frying pan, you don't suppose she took it do you?" "Well I doubt it, but I'll email her just to be sure" said Paul. So he sat down and wrote:
DEAR MOTHER, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID" TAKE THE FRYING PAN FROM MY HOUSE, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID NOT" TAKE THE FRYING PAN, BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IT HAS BEEN MISSING EVER SINCE YOU WERE HERE FOR DINNER.
LOVE PAUL
Several days later, Paul received an email from his mother which read:
DEAR SON, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DO" SLEEP WITH SIMON, AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DO NOT" SLEEP WITH SIMON, BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IF HE WAS SLEEPING IN HIS OWN BED, HE WOULD HAVE FOUND THE FRYING PAN BY NOW.
LOVE MUM
Lesson of the day......... ......... ......
NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER SHE ALWAYS, ALWAYS FINDS OUT
their coddle which was made of snots on toast with Diareha pie all mixed up with a dead dogs eye, picadily custard, half a pound of gick, all mixed together with a mugful of sick, which was in their handbags mixed with all.......
Angeleyes34 Forum Posts (505)
How's the form 
Mediums & Psychics
What do you think of mediums & psychics?I'm going to see Colin Fry at the Helix tomorrow nite. He's a medium and I've seen his show on TV before 'The sixth sense'.
So do you believe or not?