only1me Forum Posts (64)

RE: There is no Doubt that we will all Die But?????????

Well we're not here for a long time so we may as well have a good time!

RE: There is no Doubt that we will all Die But?????????

I would run up as much Debt as I could!1...most insurance policies I have ensure my Debt dies with me anyway SOooooooo

1.Credit Card Companies Beware!!
2.Finance Companies too would buy a BMW Convertable
3.Take a first Class all the way trip to New York and Shop till I drop ...or close to it anyway
4.Take 1 or 2 months visiting all the place I want to see before I die
5.Arrange to have a party to end all parties with all my faily friends and all who just feel like turning up and PARTY LIKE IT'S 1999



And finally arrang to have "WILD THING "
Played at the End as I shuffle of this Mortal coil and party all the way into the next life

RE: Lesson of the day....

15 PIECES OF ADVICE FOR WOMEN

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.


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2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.


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3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up
there.


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4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.


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5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.


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6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can
tell them apart.


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7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make
some woman miserable.


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8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself
types.


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9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for
it.


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10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.


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11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.


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12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even
in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.


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13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque
books .


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14. Remember a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him jokes, it
means that you laugh at his.


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15. Sadly, all men are created equal!

RE: Lesson of the day....

If Men Got Pregnant..........

Maternity leave would last two years....with full pay.
There would be a cure for stretch marks.

Natural childbirth would become obsolete.

Morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem.

All methods of birth control would be 100% effective.

Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.

Men would be eager to talk about commitment.

They wouldn't think twins were so cute.

Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00 PM.

Briefcases would be used as diaper bags.

Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes.

They'd stay in bed during the entire pregnancy.

Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entree's.

Women would rule the world.!!!

RE: Tears

Leonard Cohens "Hallelujah"

RE: wedding

Well I got the hat and pressie so all I need now is a date!

RE: wedding

I mean't the Bridesmaids

RE: wedding

Love Hats !! you'll have to let me know what your colours are so I don't clash

RE: wedding

Yipeeeeee...I go shopping tomorrow !1

RE: wedding

Can I be Flower Girl PLEeeeeeesee??????

RE: Use your Imagination, But check the Rules "Page 1"

And then he woke up from a drunken stupor.. only to find,himslf Naked as the day he was born ,tied to a railings and a dog licking his ...when he realised it had a been a dream for him cause the really did the Planet and he really did feel so and now he needed his for his hangover and a to bury his truly sad head cos it felt like from all the THE END!!!

RE: Use your Imagination, But check the Rules "Page 1"

Again Typical Male Answer...

RE: Use your Imagination, But check the Rules "Page 1"

Women overcame and came out on top!!!

RE: Use your Imagination, But check the Rules "Page 1"

JK Rowling is shaking in her boots as we speak!!

RE: Use your Imagination, But check the Rules "Page 1"

AAArrrggghhh...Did one of them escape from Mars!!!

RE: Use your Imagination, But check the Rules "Page 1"

RE: Use your Imagination, But check the Rules "Page 1"

Venus!!...where they should have gone in the first place and saved themselves all THIS HASSLE !!!

RE: Use your Imagination, But check the Rules "Page 1"

Send a probe to the next possible position of his secondary brain nad locate this information somehow... so they lay him down and then with one mighty push shoved the probe.......

RE: Use your Imagination, But check the Rules "Page 1"

Accidently burnt the most vital part of his Anatomy which was his..................

RE: Use your Imagination, But check the Rules "Page 1"

So not a wasted trip after all.......

RE: Use your Imagination, But check the Rules "Page 1"

RE: Use your Imagination, But check the Rules "Page 1"

Egg timer!!...that was cracked right down the center, it was damaged in the explosion when the Scientist returned from Mars after seeking out new life forms and now without it there was no way they could all............

RE: Use your Imagination, But check the Rules "Page 1"

The other necesities you would find in the female purse...lazer gun,typhoid pill,juice maker,bandaids,swiss army knife...and the most shocking thing of all a vibrating..........

RE: Use your Imagination, But check the Rules "Page 1"

To the Master at which he then told them it had all been a horrible dream and they were still back on the nudist beach and no where to hide their.....

RE: Use your Imagination, But check the Rules "Page 1"

they uttered the Magic Word "AlahKzam!!" and the door opened before them revealing....

RE: Use your Imagination, But check the Rules "Page 1"

Miss her cue...did we forget to say she was also very forgetful and not as Intelegent as most after all she had originaly herself come from Mars so her own Intelegence was under question, her broomstick decided to go on strike because of constant over work so she hopped on a train to...........

RE: Use your Imagination, But check the Rules "Page 1"

Arrrghhh.........

RE: Use your Imagination, But check the Rules "Page 1"

On her way to the bishops house as he was hosting "Antiques Roadshow " and she had a fine Relic to show him before finally giving...........

RE: Use your Imagination, But check the Rules "Page 1"

Cos without their Maps...they were completly lost,..........meantime Charlie,still looking for his angels came upon the Barracks that Mother superior ran with an Iron fist and a .......

RE: Use your Imagination, But check the Rules "Page 1"

Alas but to no avail her cries went unheard as there were man to her her plea's of woe, she still couldn't fix the drip from the tap in her bedcamber that kept her awake all night sobbing because as she lay there in the dark listening to the constant drip! Drip it reminded her of how much she needed a man at that precise time ...but wait! she had an idea In the next Galaxy she had once heard tales of a far distant cousin of the Saintly Jack who in day's of yore would be known as "The Village idiot " and if she could only find the cracked eggimer now to try and send a distress signal then all may not be lost ...she called her other Angels to her side "Angels I need your help to weave a majic spell" she said in excitment "We need to mix a batch of special brew to conjour up Oh mighty one 2..."Oh " said angel number one "I know exactly what you need !"...and she rushed off to...........