> THE MUSTARD STORY > >> > >>I Love Mustard. (This is a true story. If you have > children you will probably relate to this father. > >> > >>As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick > slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and > plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. > >> > >>The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I > carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it > up with both hands but was stopped by my wife > suddenly at my side. > >> > >>"Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I > >>get my sandwich," she said. > >> > >>I had him balanced between my left elbow and > shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich > when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers. > >> > >>I love mustard. > >> > >>I had no napkin. > >> > >>I licked it off. > >> > >>It was not mustard. > >> > >>No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the > first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue > protruding out. With a washcloth in each hand, > >>I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only > I did it on my tongue. > >> > >>Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so > hard, my wife said, "Now you know why they call that > fancy mustard 'Poupon.'"
> > New Priest? > > Drive Through Confessional? > >? > > The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest,? > > said,"You had a good idea to replace the first four? > > pews with plush bucket theater seats. It worked? > > like a charm. The front of the church always fills? > > first now."? > >? > > The young priest nodded, and the old priest? > > continued, "And you told me adding a little more? > > beat to the music would bring young people back? > > to church, so I supported you when you brought? > > In that rock 'n' roll gospel choir. Now our services? > > are consistently packed to the balcony."? > >? > > "Thank you, Father," answered the young priest.? > > "I am pleased that you are open to the new ideas? > > of youth."? > >? > > "All of these ideas have been well and good," said? > > the elderly priest, "But I'm afraid you've gone too? > > far with the drive-thru confessional."? > >? > > "But, Father," protested the young priest, "my? > > confessions and the donations have nearly doubled? > > since I began that!"? > >? > > "Yes," replied the elderly priest, "And I appreciate? > > that. But the flashing neon sign, 'Toot 'n' Tell or? > > Go to Hell' cannot stay on the church roof."?
Hi, my name is Edna. I am a 50 year old woman. I like to read, camp, fish, cook, walk beaches, football and nascar! I am a very kind woman, unless you make me mad, then look out. I am also brutally honest, if ya don't want the answer, don't ask the question. I like listening to music, most anything but RAP CRAP. Enjoy sitting by a fire reading, snuggling, or just talking! I do watch some television. I play alot of Computer Games, Roller Coaster Tycoon is my fave by far! Also love my Playstation! As for movies, as long as I can sit in my house and pause when I have to go, we are all set! I do smoke regularly, drink only occasionally!
What I am looking for............ Someone to accept for who I am, cuz I will not change for noone. I am who I am, so deal with it! To me looks do not matter, all that matters is the inside! I have always said a person is just like a Christmas present, the outside is wrapping, all the good stuff is inside! I am not into pain, hurt, head games or anything like that. Been there, done that, NO MORE for me thanks.
So if ya wanna know this cavegal...................just let me know! Also just looking to make friends! Noone can ever have enough friends! They are what makes the world go round!
nhcavegal Forum Posts (269)
Looking very fine there my friend! And thank you
both of you!
RE: Ok M