Well I am not sure but maybe we should be changing the word standards with the word characteristics. I think standards can be adopted by an individual but may not always remain constant. Characteristics or personality traits are inherent and are an indication of the core values of a person. I think to demand certain standards in our partner can be the ruin of the relationship. We can however command standards. To command has several meanings and one such meaning is To deserve and receive as due. An example would be that we cannot demand respect but we can command respect by the way we choose to live our life.
KHD I agree but most women do not think the way that you do which is bang on. Most women see the marriage proposal as commitment. Of course commitment has nothing to do with what is wrote on paper but most will dump you in a heart beat if they do not ever hear those 4 big words.
Gordy not to many women are OK with just shacking up. Most women want a bigger commitment in the form of a marriage proposal. Shacking up I think is more of a man's idea because generally speaking men are logical thinkers and women are more emotional thinkers. Has to do with the left brain right brain thing I guess. Now ladies don't jump all over me for my comments. I am not saying man's way of thinking is more superior then women's. In fact logical thinking often gets men in trouble when it comes to relationship issues.
Yes I agree maybe not the best place to advertise this but looks like you got some interest. I too would like to know more about what you are proposing because I enjoy making money.
Why would you say "poor me"? I am not looking for anyone's sympathy. The fact is my feelings change from time to time. I am actually in the Edmonton is not so bad stage right now. There has been a few positive changes that that make me feel that way.
Lived and worked in both Provinces and my vote goes to BC. I hate the weather in Edmonton and just about everything else. I lived and worked in the Purcell mountains and that was nice. Still not as nice as my home Province though. I miss the Annapolis Valley.
You do what works for you Privateluvr but do not assume the competition idea that I mentioned has to do with insecurity. The fact is I was speaking for myself and I am anything but insecure. I was simply expressing an idea based on what some men might see as a logical reason for wanting to meet instead of just exchanging a bunch of emails or even chatting on cam. Those things are good but I don't really think they are enough to get a feel for someone.
Let me approach this from a different angle because I have been dealing with this very issue. I think for men it is not a matter of moving fast because we are looking for one nighters. But Michelle is bang on about meeting so both parties can get a feel for one another. I know from past personal experience that it was easy to get a woman to chat with me online but it seems to be very difficult to get that person to meet even in a public setting. I would never give that ultimatum but it is frustrating when you like someone who you have been chatting with but she is cautious to get together. I think I wanted things to move quicker then they normally had because of the competition. I think guys know that if they can't meet a woman and show her what they am really like she may lose interest in the chat thing and move onto someone else that might be a little bit better at wooing her. So that is why I think some guys want to meet as soon as possible. I would say this applies more to a situation where the man has a strong interest in the woman he is chatting with.
"Canuckken, you have to go where your heart tells you to...the right place will come along and you and your life will fit into it And...it depends what you are looking for and looking to do...there was a time I never,ever thought I would be in the Yukon"
eyes you are right. The thing is my heart is longing for my home town but I can't make a future for myself there. So I am stuck living in a city I hate. Perhaps it will grow on me but I doubt it. I am a country boy and I was not made for city life. I like the peace and tranquility of a rural setting but it is almost impossible to obtain decent employment in small towns.
lol, moose jaw? what would be waiting for me in moose jaw? I even just tried logging onto the the City of Moose Jaw homepage and guess what? Nothing is what. I do like the name though.
So if the post is 2 years old there is no sense wishing good luck then. But I would like to relocate somewhere. I am not liking Edmonton. Any suggestions?
I think you should start another thread. I will reserve my comments for that one. As to deal with the question I think there are many reasons why some young women like older men. I think rider4u offered a some good reasons. I also know of a young woman that liked older men because she was looking for more of a father figure. Might be an isolated case I don't know. Often it just has to do with personal taste. Maybe the young woman is tired of the boyish games and she thinks rightly or wrongly the older man is more mature. I guess we should ask some of them so we will know because I am only assuming.
If you are referring to me then you are correct. I did throw a bunch of things in the pot but only because the thread was already hijacked by making it more personal with the cheating thing. He said nothing about cheating. He asked the question why young women go after old men. I do not see anything to do with cheating in the original thread.
Well I am sticking with my original reply. How many people do you know that are married? How many of them have cheated? Yes no doubt some have of all ages. I tend to be optimistic. I know of many more successful relationships where the partners have chose to be faithful to one another. The thing is the bad ones get more attention. It is like turning on the TV and watching the news. All you see for the most part is the negative news. I was married for 15 years and never once cheated on my wife and I believe she never cheated on me. My father never cheated and my grandfather who loved my grandmother dearly was faithful to her until his death. I have many friends and I can count on one hand the number of people who had an affair. Yes it happens but it is not as bad as some make it out to be. I am not even sure why we are talking about this because it has nothing to do with the original thread. He was questioning why young women would date an older man.
"Older men tend to very good at playing the game too . They are good at cheating too."
Aren't you just bubbling with optimism. Age has nothing to do with cheating. That has all to do with character. There are just as many young men who cheat and women are not different in that category.
I disagree Cherry so help me understand. How is it that someone who does not reply to a message or gift "rude or cowardice" ? Perhaps that person could be considered less congenial, sociable or whatever adjective you put on it but rude and cowardice is extreme. As I said in my first post it is polite to reply but I do not think not replying is not polite. Your talking about a stranger and not a friend and again if someone is offended because they do not receive a reply they should not be on dating sites. If someone said hi to me on the street and I turned my back and walked a way that would be rude. Not replying on a date site is not the same thing, especially for those that are here for the forums and state on their profile they are not looking for a relationship.
I agree. I clearly stated on my profile that I am no longer available but still get messages. I wonder sometime if they even read the profile or if it is just one copy and pasted message sent out to many. Yes it is polite to respond but in some cases a response is not necessary. I have had many that have not responded to me and it has not ruined my life or given me some sort of complex. If you can't handle rejection then you should not be on a date site.
You are not the only woman that finds lots of hair unattractive. However there are some that do not mind it and I just found one. Why would I want to get rid of it if she has no problem with it? The hot weather is not a problem? I just moved from the Philippines where I lived for one year. It was much hotter there then in Edmonton. I cant be bothered shaving my body everyday and plus I think that is just silly.
Yes I know the mods will only lock the thread. I am only saying her words were enough reason to have her profile removed. But that is just my opinion. It just bugs me that she can be allowed to give advice here on this site when she clearly cannot except advice. I will leave it at that because this thread concerns a different topic.
Thanks everyone. I can't bring my sister here because of her condition and do to the fact I just moved here and I am renting a house that may have just been sold. My life is still in the adjustment phase after being here less then a month. A couple of you mentioned EI but that is not an option. I moved here from another country so I do not qualify because I do not have the months needed to be eligible for the benefits. I think for now I will try to pay her a visit and see if I can find some full time care for here which I will help pay for.
Thanks KHD100 and mychelle for your comments and suggestions. Money is not really the issue. I also asked her if she needed me or does she simply want me there? I can go visit her no problem but she needs more then just a visit. there are no other relatives in TO. My family is from NS. They will give her some help with in home care but that is limited. They will not do things like buy her groceries and do errands for her. She was just accepted for disability so she could name me as her care giver which would provide me with a little cash. Again I am not in it for the money. I just wish I was not in this situation but it is much harder for my sister and it is my sister that I am thinking about.
Well here is the thing about what you have wrote. If I stay some will call me selfish for putting my own needs over my own sisters. Some will no doubt say it is a no brainer. Go and help your sister because you can always get work in TO. So that camp would be fore me going. On the other hand if I go there will be some that say stay where you are. You would be foolish to move now because you just begun a good job. If I go this camp will say I made the wrong decision. It is not like I really care if people disagree with my decision. What I am struggling with is knowing what the right thing to do is. I am the type of person that is not selfish. I was raised not to be that way. In fact I always was someone with compassion and I if can help anyone I will. That is just me.
Here is something I would like some feedback on. If you had a family member that was battling cancer would you give up your job and move to another city to look after them? That is what I am facing right now and it sucks. My sister lives in Toronto and has stage 4 cervical cancer. She also is dealing with blood clots and hemorrhaging. She wrote me today and asked if I would come live with her to look after her needs. She is in hard shape and cannot do even the simple things like shop for groceries. I really want to help her. For me family always comes first. The thing is i just moved to Edmonton and began a new job here that I like. I know I could get another in Toronto but it might not be as good and a lower salary. I do not want to put work or money over a families needs, especially a sibling with cancer. I also do not want to give up a good job. I have never been in this situation before and hope I never will be again. Any thoughts or suggestions?
canuckken Forum Posts (141)
RE: Do Your Standards Drop With Time?
Well I am not sure but maybe we should be changing the word standards with the word characteristics. I think standards can be adopted by an individual but may not always remain constant. Characteristics or personality traits are inherent and are an indication of the core values of a person. I think to demand certain standards in our partner can be the ruin of the relationship. We can however command standards. To command has several meanings and one such meaning is To deserve and receive as due. An example would be that we cannot demand respect but we can command respect by the way we choose to live our life.