Yep....Ur rite. I live in hope though. When we split first I was very upset and realised a lot of the pain was because I had lost his friendship. Our time together now is still very special, but just different. I would love to think it will continue, but of course if one of us gets into a relationship with someone else, it might not be so easy!
It is difficult if you have spent a long time chatting before meeting I suppose. I don't hang about anymore!! If I think there might be something there I try and meet very early on to avoid any false hope building up.
On a very positive side to this tho, a couple of years ago it worked in reverse for me! Was chatting to a guy and he phoned unexpectedly within a few days to say he was in the area and could I meet? So I went for it... I had not been in the least bit attracted to his pic, and in fact when I was approaching him for the meeting and set eyes on him for real I felt the same, nothing! Then somehow within half an hour of chatting to him he had me totally charmed! Met him 2 days later and had an equally good time and then was at a gig with a friend a couple of days later and when I thought of him I got incredible butterflies in my tummy! I turned to my friend and said that I was in trouble.... I had that feeling!! Spent a lovely couple of years with him, sadly it didn't work out, but still! It opened my mind......
I know how you feel. As some people insist on reminding me (!!) it is better to have a pic up. I used to have one up..... took it down having been "mini-stalked" by someone I had no intention of meeting, but who had tracked me down to work!
However, it does not bother me not to have one, coz exactly like your experience, anyone I ever met did not look remotely like their pics. I don't know why, maybe coz we get a preconceived idea of people by chatting to them and mentally fill in the gaps in the pic?? Our personalities have a very strong influence on how people see us and how we perceive them too. So pic or no pic, the only way to know if you are attracted to someone is to meet face to face! As you experienced.....
I am aware of numerous instances. But I am involved in the arts, where perhaps the people I know are a bit freer thinking with regard to a lot of these kind of issues....
I have had two long term relationships, one with a man that I married who was 6 years younger and one in later life with someone 14 years younger. If I am honest, I was not mature enough for the latter, lost him because of this.
Well, I wasn't really thinking along the lines of people intentionally targeting people much younger or older than themselves. In fact I am unconvinced that very active pursuit of any kind of partner works..........
Has to be said though, we have a lot of young guys on this sight putting lots of energy, usually misguided I'd say, into the pursuit of the "mature" ladies!!
Well that's the thing... different things to different people! For me it is someone who is maybe a bit unreliable, doesn't always do the obvious thing, doesn't always turn up when they should, not overly available, perhaps a bit of a dark horse.... But when they do turn up they make your heart skip a few beats!!
zarra Forum Posts (52)
RE: CS Get Together - Galway - Friday 22nd August
Hey!What a great idea. Are you involved in the show? Z