ariasweetie Poetry (1)

There’s this whirlwind, a black hole of emotions I want to crawl in and just escape.
When I open my eyes I see the world, and everything I was and knew or didn’t know crashing in - falling in and crushing upon me like a weight bearing world of something so putrid
Something possibly beautiful something I know -but don’t
Gasping for air is how I feel. I cant see this water beneath me I tread. I constantly look but cant fully ever see what lies beneath
Its like moment to moment a murky water that seems to only clear for a short fleeting moment.. and I sit alone always alone and I wonder… how will I survive?
Since birth there’s this reaper or disease that likes to burn its holes inside my brain. A conscious torture that only a schizoid or psychotic man may understand. A lonely broken child left alone, a poor peddler on the street, and a rich man whom sells him self and wonders why he lays alone at night.
Not one clear diagnostic tool or word, not one clear way to explain this realm I find my self beating against. I wish I could scratch this diseased and dysfunctional part of my brain away… cleanse the black ness I feel in my soul
Love the little girl, I possible never knew.
Embrace the women, I was told could be me.




I take this pill and wash it down with what only looks like a good choice.
At the moment, this is the moment. Always the past and always the falling future.
Awake to find that your stuck in what was said to be yesterday. Tommorow only holds tomorrow. Today I hold a fallen moment. A glitch that keeps skipping this broken record of my tape inside my brain. A souls lost torture holds a truth of something unspecified.
Blindly escape and purge the death of tomorrow and suck down the hate and remorse of this face.
Can I love a child or beauty in some other or selfs arms?
In the mirrors refelction holds echos of dead mans past
And screams of moments lost and time fading away… where do you go but another breath away?
Where does one go when the brains beating heart laughs at evil, because it only feels the fear.?
Its love soaked bandages mommy never took away.
She never saw the pain, nor did she look into the child who walked away, and stands here today.
Father a name I don’t quite understand, friend or foe.. man whom I grow to hope that once I will learn to let go.
Are you a sister or a brother I was supposed to ever feel?
The pain in your eyes I see you carry with you. I was too young I never knew you. Today a ditant longing of what I wish it could be.
But truly your just a stranger,that I wonder if I should know
But in my tears inside my soul, I feel the tares of wanting something..
But I wonder.. jaded souls never truly feel all that truly is.
And there you are, truly only a memorie I wonder if is real.