pikengren Poetry (1)

there is a loneliness,
like being a spectator in your own life.
when you have it all,
but know something is not right.

the job, the house, the kids,
and the beautiful wife.
and you feel the joy of your children
but somehow you are always an outsider

too late we sometimes realize
the situation was by design
not myself and me being my own worst enemy
not as i thought, did my own heart betray me.

friends close,enemies closer they tell me.
i would have never guessed,
just how close my worst one was to me.
not my own heart, but the one closest to it

those lonely gray days have gone
the knowledge that i have a wonderful life that is somehow not mine
no matter how much strength i grasp it with
gone.

and yet
i am alone,and somehow so much less lonely
the life i have does belong to me.
i no longer watch my life with sadness