scriobhneoir Review Details
scriobhneoir
Cork, Ireland
Oct 8, 2012 3:18 AM CST
Profile Reviews & Comments for scriobhneoir
It's a good start, but you need a hook of some sort intrigue the reader. Also a little bit of comedy adds some flavour.
Lastly, it seems like you're not sure who you are addressing. Remember there is only one person you should be talking to; the woman who is currently reading what you wrote, so address her directly at all times.
Lastly, it seems like you're not sure who you are addressing. Remember there is only one person you should be talking to; the woman who is currently reading what you wrote, so address her directly at all times.
Oct 8, 2012 4:42 AM CST
BigBad: It's a good start, but you need a hook of some sort intrigue the reader. Also a little bit of comedy adds some flavour.
Lastly, it seems like you're not sure who you are addressing. Remember there is only one person you should be talking to; the woman who is currently reading what you wrote, so address her directly at all times.
Lastly, it seems like you're not sure who you are addressing. Remember there is only one person you should be talking to; the woman who is currently reading what you wrote, so address her directly at all times.
Thanks for that big bad.
Oct 8, 2012 5:19 AM CST
You're welcome
Oct 9, 2012 6:51 AM CST
Hi Scribs, well written profile, you point out what you're looking for, sounds good and best of luck!
Oct 10, 2012 8:39 AM CST
Thanks KNenagh.
Oct 10, 2012 1:16 PM CST
You switch from "you" to "her" in those last couple of paragraphs still. I'd look at reworking that still.
That first paragraph in who you're looking for, was excellent.
That first paragraph in who you're looking for, was excellent.
Oct 11, 2012 4:44 AM CST
Thanks Bigbad.
Oct 14, 2012 3:54 PM CST
i thought you wrote very nicely and sincere. i don't really see any changes. pic looks natural and like your being yourself. good luck. 
Oct 15, 2012 12:27 AM CST
Thanks Hike. I definitely think I need a new photo to be taken. If for no other reason, the fact I've lost a substantialamount of weight since.
Oct 19, 2012 7:51 PM CST
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755 Views
9 Comments
Created: Oct 2012
Last Viewed: Apr 17
Last Commented: Oct 2012