A lot of people who are coming into their 40's start to become anxious about their looks,,,,,and of course,,,,the dreaded aging process ,,,,,and this is because as younger people they based their whole identity on their looks ,,,,so as soon as they start showing a few laughter lines ,,,,they panic sometimes turning to cosmetic surgery as an alternative solution,,,,,or becoming depressed ,,,at not being able to afford it ,,,,,,quite honestly I don't think that helps much ,,,,not in the long run ,,,,as you can always tell ,,,,when someone has resorted to the procedure,,,,,,botox or face-lifting,,,,,and the unnatural look of boob jobs,,
Being vain ,,,,is not an attractive feature,,,,in my opinion ,,,,to approach your 40's and realize that your whole identity has been based on your looks all your life ,,,,is pretty frightening,,,,,but society plays a massive role ,,,,in molding this vision,,,,,more so today than ever,,,,,
Even young people are encouraged to 'perfect' any minor flows in their looks ,,,,most especially women ,,,,,and that creates a type of person that,,,, 'fault finds' in others ,,,,perhaps wasting a vast majority of their own life in doing so ,,,,and also never really finding their true selves ,,,in the process,,,,sadly,,,,
think that's a terrible shame ,,,,because there is so much more then looks ,,,,for its what's truly inside a person that counts the most ,,,,,,
For a smooth transition in your 40's and beyond ,,,,you need to learn at an early age that your identity inside is going to be your best friend and not your vanity,,,as your looks fade with the gravity of time ,,,,,be contented with yourself big or small,,,,and for those who think their outer shell is the most important ,,,,it's not!
The person you are is ,,,,and the more attractive you are inside ,,,,,the more it shows on the outside,,,,to others ,,,,,aging has nothing to do with it ,,,,nor any other outer factor ,,,,
and for those who compare,,,and criticize other peoples looks ,,,,,they are selfish....vain and small minded,,,,,,,
Far from reproaching themselves,,,,,deep down they enjoy the guilt,,,,,wallow in it ,,,,,because that really is flattering for some,,,,It's the comforting equivalent of draping themselves ,,in a little black dress,,,attention-seeking disguised as demureness,,,,it is fitting because they think it marks them out as people who matter,,,,,when actually they don't,,,,,,Guilty of not being attractive themselves and jealous of those who shine ,,,,,,for being truly attractive,,,,,these people will always ,,,,,,wannabe,,,,,,,
But they learned only the rules of vanity not enough to have a real identity ,,,,and real identity is all you need to age well
I remember when I bought my home in 1985,,,,some of the oldies up the street used to whisper and say "she's far too young to have 'that' house,,, it's too much responsibility for a young woman of her age",,,,I was just 20 of course,,,some little girl in their eyes who was daring to start as she meant to go in life with a goal in mind and a head screwed on the right way round for I had worked out I didn't wish to line someone elses pockets paying out rent ,,,,,I wanted my own home ,,,,
I bought an ex Council House at top price one that needed complete renovation nothing had been done to the property since the 50's ,,it even had a gas leak,,,,I could of had a renovated one for the same price in the same area but I was looking at this particular potential what it had to offer in expansion should I wish to ,,,it's grounds and location being by the woods ,,,,so I bought it excited at the challenge ahead ,,, but with no spare cash to even furnish it ,,,,I had a bed ,,,a spin dryer ,,,,and a cooker ,,,,that's all and one child and one on the way ,,,,fool hardy with determination I stripped the walls pregnant as I was ,,, stripped the paint and hacked the jungle garden till exhaustion set in and hands bled,,,,I was young I had a husband who worked every hr god sent at the time ,,,he had no time to do this ,,,
I cut the three lawns with a hand mover and chopped the edges with general purpose scissors determined to make this a home ,,,,We even sold the car to pay 'the dreaded rates at the time',,,but this was my own home ,,,,
With hand washed nappies on the washing line and scrubbed clothes they blow in the wind and as time went by things fell into place ,,,,hard work and sweat saw it through ,,,,and on to the next challenge a two story extension for our expanding family ,,,,and in 1991 the real hardcore challenge started with just 22,000 to do it to completion ,,,with all furnishings and fitted 20 foot kitchen ,,,,it really was a challenge supreme,,,,wow it took everything out of us and how we worked to get it finished by 1992 it was complete as a shell ,,,and come the end of the yr it was kitted out with a fitted kitchen ,,,and I stood back and admired it knowing we had done it all ourselves ,,,you have no idea how satisfied I was ,,,,It didn't matter that it had no heating ,,,,the feeling was warm enough to toast,,
it was 2006 before it had proper heating ,,,,and now I don't use it much I acclimatised to the cold many yrs ago ,,,and don't feel it to much anymore ,,,,
Its easy now to look back and think 'how did I do it ' and it's on-going ,,,,
It's not easy owning your own home and keeping it maintained but at least I know I have never paid rent to make someone else rich ,,,,the motto to this story is no matter where you start you can do anything if you put your mind to it ,,,,starting at the bottom and looking up is a good beginning ,,,
I will never forget this journey in my life as I made it happen relying on me and only me
There's nothing wrong with being shy,,,,it is a fear of looking stupid ,,,,alot of people suffer with shyness and sometimes it stops them reaching full potential and forming relationships ,,,they pretend it doesn't matter but it does really ,,,,no-one can help being shy ,,,but there are ways to overcome too much shyness ,,,,
The first thing you need to know is ALL people get shy ,,,even the most outgoing ones
Hard to believe isn't it,,,you see its simple ,,shy people sometimes think they are alone being shy ,,but that's not true ,,,Everyone hates embarrassment or humiliation ,,,sometimes shy people are just a little more sensitive to this ,,forming a fear of it happening ,,,,maybe because its happened before at some point ,,,but often its just a fear they think about ,,,,too much!
The best way to overcome fears is to face them head on ,,,,trying to be as calm as possible ,,,once you can do this,,, fears become so much less of a concern ,,,,you begin to realize that ,,,,think positive!
Don't let shyness hold you back ,,or stop you meeting people ,,,,we are all shy of meeting new people ,,,,its a fact ,,,If your shy you don't have to spring into a conversation straight away ,,,just say a few things and take your time ,,,,just don't say nothing lol,,,,saying nothing through shyness is sometimes the reason we get embarrassed ,,,,and also remember you don't have to talk all the time anyway ,,,,,
You see,,,, even those like me who are not shy ,,,get moments of shyness ,,it's normal ,,it's cute and its fun
Despite popular belief ,,,,it is possible to have a stress free Christmas ,,,,,it doesn't matter how many you have coming for Christmas ,,,,,,or how few ,,,even difficult family members can be tolerated as long as they understand the 'rules' ,,,,which are 'its Christmas a time to not be stressed' ,,,,one way of doing this is not be too rigid,,,,most do have rigid ideas about Christmas,,,take things nice and steady instead,,,,,if Christmas dinner isn't ready exactly before the Queen's speech ,,,,who the hell cares ,,,its a day to enjoy yourself even if you are an adult ,,,I am always the cook in this house and I have never stuck to the stupid 'Christmas Rules' ,,,,why because I am not going to stress myself on a timer ,,,,,I don't think I have ever have a bad Christmas or an argument at Christmas ,,,,and I spent 23 Christmas' with my ex husband ,,,,and many times we actually had Christmas dinner at 6 pm ,,,,,and it was great everything prefect because there is no timer in this house,,,,,,my kids when they were young were never allowed to get up at the crack of dawn opening presents and hyping themselves up ,,,,because it doesn't make Christmas that enjoyable for them or for parents ,,,if your up with children at 5 am ,,,without doubt you will be knackered by 3 pm ,,,,,,and with drink and not enough sleep too,,,
that's when arguments start ,,,its true ,,,,,too many people do not get this fact ,,,and end up throwing the turkey at someone or even worse totally wrecking Christmas,,,,,
Now this Christmas,,,I have a house full on the day itself and boxing day ,,,and we'll enjoy it too the max ,,,,,,I'm even on standby for 6 more guests and I love it!,,,,,,
But you know if I was alone for Christmas ,,,I would still enjoy it ,,,,,I wouldn't have a packet meal for one ,,nope I would cook a mini chicken and have a roast ,,,,,I would have a treats basket and even relax with a face mask on,,,,and drink and be merry ,,,then go out to the pub and get chatting to someone and maybe spend the rest of Christmas with them,,,,
I have no idea what time I'll have dinner ready this year ,,,,,folk are already taking bets at the bookies,,,but I know one thing ,,,,it'll be the best!
Twinkleshoes Blog (4)