I dont think this site is helping me finding a relationship. I guess I'll just have to have patience?
Drank alot lastnight , didn't like the feeling of the side effect of drinking to much, felt like I was gonna panic and lose my mind. I went to the bar with my cuzin and had some more drinks to take the edge off. I drank a little tonight and feel calmed down. Feel tired but anxiety comes back off and on. Really bothers me when i try to sleep. heart rate beats hard. feel my chest pounding. Am I addicted to drinking? Drink so much someday I feel like Im gonna die from drinking, I just hope theres a women out there I can build a relationship with and help me take it easy in life without drinking. My band and friends help me keep living. most important is family also. What to do ?
Went for a long walk and visit some friends today. Didn't feel like I was welcome anywhere, so I went for a long walk around my town. Listened to music on my i pod. thinking how alone I felt. I know I'll find someone who shares the same interests as me. So I kept walking and it started to snow? Good I'm thinking positive, turning my negetive feelings to positive. Hard thing to do when no ones around to hang with you. thanks for reading my blog.
I been into music since I was little. singing and playing guitar. I had some ups and downs in my life. Tried to Overdose once. Been in the hospital 3 times. Now I try to turn my life around. Went back to music and it's been really good. But in the same time I been drinking a lot. My anxiety is getting worst the more I drink, because of the hangovers I get for drinking days at a time.
I trying to cut down and stay away from the friends who drink alot and locked my self at home. I felt the side effects of depression again. After hearing this girl who is 15 took her own life a couple of days ago. I felt really sad, because I would of committed the same actions as she did before. Now she's gone and I'm really down and sad about the news.
I look outside everynight and think about the goodtimes I've had. Is it worth losing your life over someone who took theres by there own hands? I play guitar and write about it all night yesterday. cried sometimes , thinking about the song the news put for the late girls tribute video. I darken myself from sunny days and play guitar and sing in the darkness. thinking about her. Sad. very sad.
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