hey everybody haven't had alot of time to post anything up here been working alot, at a job i actually have kept and like for the most part i need something new in my life though, only have a job and nothing else just isn't cutting it anymore. haven't felt good but it's just a girl thing lol, you women out there would so understand that lol. just really need something new a different. just sort of bored
so tired of being told one thing and something else happening i'm supposed to work mothers day thinking of calling off and going to see my kid for a change no body else gives a shit about what i want they just run right over me, so i'm done i'm going to go see my kid this weekend like i said no one else cares about me or her and i'm all she has in this world that is decent. i was going to go do stuff for someone and after last night and tonight why should i stick my neck out for them. they want me and ask me to do stuff but it doesn't matter what i do for them it's never good enough and when i want something it's just to much
went to cosi a science fair thing where i live and it was great and i still am doing pretty good on things so far. now still on the hunt for a nice man, nice meaning not to pushy. but right now i'm just enjoying my last day off before the start of another busy work week.
wow amazing i've worked so much overtime at work i got a big fat check, i was so happy. got my oil changed today on my car, loving my job now all that is left is to find a nice man again. a cute guy that is a couple yrs my senior viewed my profile and emailed me on here just saying hi to me i sent one back saying hi how are you. wanted to have a little fun today but they didn't get my check out till late so didn't get to do anything, but maybe next weekend
friday when i get paid i think i'm going to stop by the local ymca see what i can get into, i need to get a life get involved in something other then just work. meet new people, and stop being stuck in the same rut, i have my car so i can just go do whatever i want whenever i want. then maybe when i least expect it love will find me, real love and i will know it when i see it. i just need out of this rut. even though his life will go down hill once the karma bus hit's him mine won't cause i will be involved in something other then just him
i'm tired of trying, i wish i was dead! this is the only place i can come to to get frustration out. no one really knows my heartache and pain, no one. but they throw stones like they think they do, i don't need help i need to be loved and cared for like i try to love and care for them but all i get is told that i'm mean and get ignored. i can't wait to go to work in the morning give me something to do to get my mind off the depression and loneliness of my life, i won't lose another job to this bastard! i should have known i was not speacial just a thing to be used and thrown away. i would love to be happy again but all i see is what a waste my life has been. i feel like i'm drowning and no one is there to pull me to the surface. i hope he never comes back here i don't think i can go another day seeing his face
one great thing about the fact i'm getting a new man, is that i won't have to deal with a roudy inconsiderate four yr old that his dumb a** dad can't control. oh yeah and his hoe hacked into my facebook account without my knowledge so yeah not fun.
i will try and be on as much as i can to blog.i'm working alot now and don't have time to be on here all the time like i usually am. i'm so numb, just numb like i don't even want to try and care about much of anything anymore. i don't really see the point in it, you care you get hurt. sometimes i wish i had died in that car accident i was in 6 months ago. tired of being told sorry and tired of thinking that it actually means something. i'm just so depressed lately, it's like i have a job and my car back but it isn't enough. and i know some people will comment that i probly need to see a shrink but trust me they don't really help the situation. i'm getting so used to being alone that sometimes it doesn't bother me and sometimes it does, almost my whole social life outside of work is on here, how sad is that? i know, really sad
work has been hectic had my car impounded yesterday because of my ex, was so not happy. have been looking into apartments also. i have a job and a car everything i need just trying to find a good spot to resettle now. things have gone down hill between me and his hoe and she found out he is not the most faithful person but he explained it away instead of telling her the truth and now she is mad at me but i don't care. she needs to know the real him.
it's been a couple of weeks since i've posted on here. have my car, been working on and off for like a week now. just really wish i had a specail person in my life. one that doesn't lie and cheat and try to cover there tracks, i'm so ready for a new love interest in my life right now. i've lost hope of finding one on here, i didn't trust the last guy i talked to on here. but i'm not the greatest at meeting people. i'm just really lonely and it doesn't help that where i'm at it's a rainy and dreary day outside.
i pick my car up tommarrow at 11 then friday i am going to dublin for a match making service appointment. ugg tired of this a** whole, he makes me so damn sick. i feel so low and not good enough when i'm around him, he says i vodooed him and that is why he is suffering from heartburn when it's really guilt over all the lies he tells. he says he cares and shit like that but in reality my feelings have no bareing on him. some times i wish i was never born, i still have to get tags and shit for my car but i'm going to drive it tommarrow anyway, maybe i can find somthing interesting to do where i don't have to think about him. here is to hoping anyway
I get my car back tommarrow, finally I will be able to get away from the bullshit that I live with everyday! someone told me that once the trust is gone it's gone, well they hit the nail on the head with that one alright, finally a step in the right direction
lovebambie Blog (15)