Do you say a prayer of gratefulness daily? Well, I don’t. I was facing a crossroad in my life recently. I decided not to do what I used to do career wise. But due to the habitual mode of having a regular job, I accepted a position not in alignment with what I want to do. What I want to do is also a part of what I did in my last job. To cut the story short I just did not want to deal with certain aspects of my previous full time employment anymore.
It was only after accepting the offer that I started to look deeply into myself. I read and also spent time in meditation. While being guided through a particular meditation online, asking me to think of all the times I have been grateful, it daunted on me that I wasn’t grateful most of my life. The truth is, the universe has always been kind to me, handing me what I want all the time. Even the things I did not want was given because I have not consciously looked inside myself before.
After looking deeply into what I want, rather than just take what comes my way without paying attention to my mind, I decided I will pay as much attention to my thoughts as possible made me feel a lot better. The offer was also a gift from the universe because in my state of confusion then, I did want a job, but I wasn’t paying attention to what I really want.
A friend gave me the advise this morning. She said her nephew who is only 4 years old, never feels guilt telling someone else he does not want something anymore. Whereas I do – most of my life. I do not like to disappoint people. That’s the nice way of saying it. Rather, I have been conditioned to always seek approval because I did not receive much as a child.
Thanks to my friend, I looked deeply into my behaviour pattern that drives me towards unhappiness. Now, I am conscious I can live without the guilt of wanting anyone’s approval again. It is freeing for the mind.
A free mind is a mind that is able to break from its usual habits. The ability to say ‘NO’ to your own mind when it is driven to do the same thing over and over again that causes you discomfort is liberating.
It is apt that I was beside a child on my way home in the train when she said, “I see cars, I see trees.” It was as what my friend had said. The child was just pointing out to her mother what she sees, without interpreting it and adding unnecessary layers like adults do.
When you cause upset to anyone it may feel uncomfortable at the moment, but it does not have to carry any guilt or burden at all.
Share your views of what you are actually seeing in your mind. We see, but we seldom do SEE it like a child. Be aware of your mind and be grateful because the universe always gives you what you want, even fear.
As Christmas approaches, it's another fleeting feeling of warmth, love and happiness that passes.
I've always liked Christmas for some reason even though I'm from Asia and my family doesn't celebrate Christmas. But I think the media and now border less communication has spread the christmas joy so that everyone can feel this festive feeling of gifts, dinner, family get together and love.
Christmas has a new meaning as life progresses. From partying with friends, attending midnight mass hearing about christ's infinite love to understanding that the love taught by Jesus exists in everything including hate (which is love for self instead of others but it is still love).
My understanding through the years of this love taught by Jesus is what makes this Christmas different from the ones that have passed.
I hope on this Christmas Day and he new year ahead, we can remember this infinite love and tolerance so that the world may be a more peaceful place for all to live in and an earth that finds harmony in this love we send to it.
Merry Christmas.
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