When I pray, I get about the same amount of response as I'd get from my bathtub.
What infuriates me is when people say "God responds. You just aren't listening."
Yes. I am listening. I have listened to the best of my ability. I think if it is a merciful God, then he should answer in a language I can understand. It really doesn't do much good to answer in a way that I CAN'T understand, eh?
No response is no response. Nothing is nothing. Silence is silence.
If I'm suppose to take the silence, the nothing, and interpret it as an answer... That's just ME coming up with an answer! I can do that without having prayed in the first place!
This isn't even a matter of "not getting the answer I wanted." It's a matter of not receiving ANY answer, ever.
I prayed for years, and years, and years. And I have never received a response. God has never "enlightened me" or "revealed the answer through circumstance", or "shown me the way". It's just day after day, year after year, of me talking to the wall and then walking away and figuring it out myself.
So I quit praying.
I simply can't continue to engage in conversing if I'm the only one contributing to the discourse. I can't continue to go through life praying to a God who either isn't listening, or is just ignoring me. (That's what it's called when you receive no response. It's called being ignored.)
If this is all just a matter of me on my own, interpretting the events of my life, and then me on my own, making the best decision I can with the information I have, then why bother asking for guidance and answers?
It makes me sad really. I'm sad that my God ignores me. It makes me tearfully walk away saying "I really wanted to have a relationship with you, but you haven't spoken to me in 34 years, and I finally have to just let go."
abstinence
accountability
allegiance
candor
celebration
certainty
character
confidence
consideration
consistency
courage
decency
decisiveness
dependability
determination
devotion
dignity
discipline
ethics
fairness
faith
faithfulness
fidelity
firmness
goodness
helpfulness
honesty
honor
honor
humility
industry
initiative
integrity
justice
justness
knowledge
logic
loyalty
manners
modesty
morality
morals
motivation
passion
patience
perseverance
politeness
principles
proper conduct
propriety
purity
reasonability
reliability
resolution
respect
responsibility
restraint
righteousness
self-control
self-discipline
self-respect
sentimentality
simplicity
sincerity
stability
success
temperance
temperance
tenacity
The Golden Rule
The Moral Code
truthfulness
unity
uprightness
values
veracity
virtue
zeal
and love.
I know a young couple. One day, he stood behind her chair to pull it out. She said “What are you doing? Quit hovering!” He said he was going to pull out her chair. She snapped “I can get out of my chair by myself. It’s not a highchair!” Later she was loading the car, dropped a bag and yelled at him “I wouldn’t have dropped it if you’d help carry these or hold the door open!”
This girl confuses me. She wants to be independent when it suits her, but when she wants something, she expects him to do it. She bites off his head for offering, and bites off his head for not offering. I asked him why he tolerated it. He said “That’s just how girls are. Guys have to know when to have manners and when to just leave her the hell alone.” I was astonished by this ridiculous notion.
I made a trip to the mall at Christmas. The women turned my stomach. They walk in front of their men, lead them, crowd in front of them, tell them what to do. They snap and gripe at men who try to be polite. If addressed as “Ma’am” they make some absurd comment about “My name is …!” They comb their hair at the table and tell their man to clean up the food wrappers. I saw a man tip his hat to a girl. Under her breath she said he should keep his cooties to himself. When guys offer to be mannerly, the girls snap back the infamous “I can do it myself!” or “I don’t need a man to do it for me!” or “What, you think because I’m female I can’t do it!” or “Girls can do it just as well as guys can!”
People question why men aren’t gentlemen anymore? Where have men’s manners gone? Isn’t it blatantly obvious?
The women apparently don’t WANT a man with manners. Apparently, they want someone to b*tch at. And apparently men like this, because they encourage it by acquiescing. They don’t have to worry about having manners. They can just b*tch back. So now instead of partnerships, we have 2 people who just yell at each other.
Unfortunately, this nazifeminist perspective of “I can do it my damn self unless I tell you I want you to do it for me.” has been injurious to women who don’t share the same belief system. I’m impressed by a man who pulls out chairs, opens doors, and tips his hat. I’m impressed by men who treat a lady like a lady. I’m impressed by men who display manners even if a bitchy woman might not want him to.
Where are those men? How many men have simply let manners fall to the side in exchange for acting like the whipped puppy the modern woman wants him to be? Many younger men these days were never even taught manners, because their Daddies were whipped too, and their Mommies were barking that she can do it her damn self.
I feel a bit foolish trying to interact with guys. If I expect him to open a door, he just passes by, walks out the door, and lets it slam in my face. Or he’ll stand beside me wondering why we’re waiting. If I sit in a chair waiting on him to pull it out, I might be sitting there all night.
I’m not going to change who I am and start acting like some mouthy bossy b*tch. I simply won’t. I don’t find that type of “woman” any sort of role model. I don’t care if she’s 60 or 16. She’s simply not acting like a lady. Telling men what to do and when to do it. Mouthing off at him when he tries to be polite. This incessant “I can do it my damn self” attitude that reeks of egocentric pompousness.
Why do men tolerate it? Do they enjoy it? What’s attractive about a woman constantly bitching and moaning about how manly she can be? What’s appealing about a woman who expects men to not have manners? Does it fit well into his lazy agenda?
What am I missing here? What happened to men being gentlemen and ladies being lady-like? Why did women become bossy bitches and men became wimpy drones? I understand that times have changed, and that the era has changed, and that trends change. But good manners are always an attribute, regardless of what year it is.
Today is the first day of my son's very first job.
Well, I mean he has mowed lawns and such, but today he started at a 9-5 type job.
I am very proud of him.
Now, I don't expect that he will keep this job very long. Mornings aren't exactly his forte, and being both awake and verticle by 7:30 in the morning is nothing less than obscene to him.
He has gotten a bit spoiled as a homeschooled kid because "school" doesn't have an actual start time and end time. This job will be a learning experience about things like consistently being on time and the consequences of oversleeping.
I have to admit he looked terrible this morning. His eyes were saggy and he walked with a bit of resentment in his posture for having to be awake. I advised him to put on his happy face and reminded him this was the means to his goal (ehem,,, paycheck).
He has never received an allowance. Not because I have any fundamental issues with giving kids allowance, just because as a single parent household, money's always been a bit tight.
He has 3 goals for his newfound income. He wants to get contact lenses. Then he wants to get his first car. Then he wants to get a ring for his girlfriend.
I don't know if it will all work out that way.
For all I know he'll come home today grumpy, disappointed, and never want to go back again. Or he might work until he gets his first paycheck and decide it's not worth it. Or he might find that working is exactly what he needed in his life and it may open all new doors for his perception of the world.
Regardless of how it turns out, 2 things I know for sure:
1. He will learn from this, and
2. I am proud of my son.
Money is important. I say that because I’m pragmatic. It takes money to keep a roof over one’s head, food in their mouth, and clothes on their back. Shelter, clothing, food, warmth, running water, electricity, health care. Basic needs take money. It takes money to have a car to get from A to B.
Money takes hard work.
I respect a man who embraces his role as provider. I respect a man who accepts the duty and responsibility of working hard to supply himself, his woman, his family, and his household, with the security that their basic needs will continue to be met. I respect a man who earns an honest living on behalf of those he cares for. (As a side note, I have even more respect for a man who provides directly via farming, hunting, and building.)
Money doesn’t impress me. It’s simply the token needed in our society to get by in life without constant hardship and struggle.
It seems to me that many women have lost sight of viewing their man as provider of basic needs and have set an expectation of him to be provider of luxury. And many men seem to believe that ALL women feel this way. Like all the gender reversal I find ever-so-devastating to our society, I find the degeneration of male-as-provider detrimental as well. I blame both the women and the men. I blame the women for becoming greedy. I blame the men for becoming complacent. I blame both for buying into the modern myths.
Let me set the record straight. There are still women out there who remain pragmatic and sensible. And I hope there are still men out there who embrace their roles as simple providers.
I need a home. I want a comfortable home. I don’t need a mansion or a million dollar home. The most beautiful home I ever spent time in was the small 2 bedroom house my Grandfather built for his wife and 2 sons.
I need food. I want healthy, tasty food. I don’t need caviar and imported wine. The best meals I ever ate were the ones prepared from the game my Father hunted and the vegetables that came from our garden.
I need clothing. I want clothing that is durable, comfortable, and makes me feel pretty. I don’t need mink fur, brand-names, and $80 shoes. The best clothing I ever wore were the pajamas I sewed on my $80 sewing machine.
I don’t need (or even particularly want) expensive jewelry. I’m perfectly content with the cute earrings I picked up at a yard sale for 50 cents. I don’t need a fancy car. I’m thankful for my 15 year old 4-door with the tiny rust spots. It gets me to the grocery store, the library, and to drop the rug-rats off here and there. It’s safe. It's even got a radio.
I don’t need luxury homes, luxury cars, brand-name clothing, Prada handbags, expensive jewels, and memberships to top-of-the-line day spas. I do need a warm bed, enough money to go to the grocery without worrying about putting something back at the check-out, shoes that keep my feet dry in the snow, and the financial ability to take the kids or cats to the doctor when they ail.
I’m impressed by a man who takes the stance of providing what I need. I’m impressed by a man who works a tad bit harder so he can feel proud saying “My family was content with a sofa, but darn it, I think they deserve a footstool also.”
I was thinking about which is more important to me when considering the qualities of a man: his being handy or his being handsome. My first instinct was to say “Handy wins. No contest.” But then it occurred to me… I really find men handsome when they’re being handy.
One’s personality, thoughts, humor, stance, expression, and actions, really contribute immensely to how physically attractive I find them. A really “gorgeous” man who wastes his life doping, playing video games until 3am and routinely browsing porn-on-the net, suddenly becomes a very ugly individual. An average man who wouldn’t draw a second glance, transforms into a hunk when he’s splitting firewood or working under the hood of a car.
There’s something very appealing about a man who comes in the house with greasy hands and talks about mundane things while he’s scrubbing off the grease. Even if he was working on some muscle car that I know absolutely nothing about, and talking about horsepower and engines and this and that. I tend to watch and listen with a bit of a smile in the corner of my mouth.
When a man is fixing the broken hot water heater or furnace or plumbing or putting up a shelf or whatever. It’s tantalizing. Not tantalizing to the point I’d pull up a chair and watch. More like tantalizing to the point it makes me want to do something to make him happy. Bring him a cold one, cook his favoraite meal, tune in the game.
He becomes the hero. He becomes savvy to the obstacle and becomes the problem solver. He pulls a magic wand from his tool-belt and becomes the magician of the leaky pipe. My girlfriends and I have discussed this when the guys are away. We have even gone so far as to climb down the depths of the basement stairs and stand in awe, staring at the power tools that not only lack names and reason, but also any semblance of beauty. “What is this for?” I really have no clue what 99% of them are for, but I know a man using one suddenly becomes a hottie.
I have no idea what a “bevel sliding 5400 speed compound miter saw” even is. Nor do I particularly understand why it costs the same amount as my first car. But here’s what I do know. Once a handy man gets ahold of it, it becomes the infamous “magic wand” transforming a pile of wood into a deck, and transforming him into a mountain of desire.
But it’s not just a physical attraction. The hero is never just physically attractive. He is the hero because of what he can DO, not how he LOOKS. He is the hero because he possesses skills and knowledge that are impressive. He is the hero because he can take raw materials and turn them into something he can use. He is the hero because when he’s involved in a project he is using his body and his mind simultaneously. He is the hero because he has determination and drive, and is willing to persevere to make something happen. He is the hero because when it’s finished he stands back for a moment with a glow of pride and admires what he’s accomplished. He’s the hero because after he washes the grease off his hands he says something ever so tiny like “It’s fixed baby. Let me know if you have any trouble with it.” and trades in all of that hard work for a small kiss and a thank you.
It’s an honor to wash a handy man’s sweaty work clothes. It’s the least we can do for our heroes.
The 50 Best and Worst of 2007 (In no particular order)
Worst 25
1. Saying my final farewell to my Father. I will miss you Daddy.
2. We still have troops in Iraq.
3. NASA continues to waste taxpayer money that could be spent on health care.
4. We even considered putting up a border wall with taxpayer money that could be spent on health care.
5. America continues to support Children’s Services Bureaus instead of getting their nose out of our homes.
6. Smoking bans.
7. Pet food imported from China kills our pets. Toys imported from China contain lead and poison.
8. We continue to import from China.
9. Al Gore gets a Nobel Peace Prize for telling me to recycle my soda cans.
10. Bird Flu spreads.
11. CBS fires Don Imus.
12. Virginia Tech massacre.
13. Price is Wrong with no Bob Barker.
14. 9 Firemen lost in South Carolina.
15. Chris Benoit lost his freakin’ mind.
16. iPhone
17. Hong Kong won’t let the troops in for family visits.
18. Minnesota bridge collapse.
19. Sarah leaves CSI
20. Britney Spears
21. Michael Vick is a real dog
22. Gas prices
23. The whole Jena 6 brouhaha
24. Goodbye Johnny Hart, B.C., and The Wizard of ID
25. Goodbye Merv Griffin.
Best 25
1. Having the privilege and honor of caring for my Father.
2. Kanye West’s Stronger.
3. Josh Cribbs remains awesome.
4. Aqua Teen Hunger Force actually caused a mooninite scare.
5. Don’t Tase Me Bro!
6. Superbowl XLI rocked (even though I lost $20)
7. A somewhat decent replacement for Gideon
8. Borat pushes the envelope.
9. I stayed under 200 pounds.
10. Trent Lott quote: "People are at least as smart as goats, maybe not as agile."
11. The final Harry Potter book released.
12. The 5th Harry Potter movie released.
13. CPDRC’s Thriller. Philippino convicts never looked so good.
14. Pats break records and make history 16-0
15. Walgreens came to town.
16. Goodbye Jerry Falwell.
17. Insulin delivery without needles.
18. such as US American education of Miss South Carolina Teen USA and such as…
19. PETA defends gay sheep, which keeps me laughing so hard I cry for a solid 45 minutes.
20. OJ is providing us all with a bit more entertainment.
21. Ratatouille
22. Rather says Couric is "dumbing it down and tarting it up."
23. I didn’t have to fight with the cable company more than twice this year.
24. King Juan Carlos actually said "Why don't you just shut up?" in summit
25. I made my first quilt square.
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