I've decided to quit praying.
When I pray, I get about the same amount of response as I'd get from my bathtub.What infuriates me is when people say "God responds. You just aren't listening."
Yes. I am listening. I have listened to the best of my ability. I think if it is a merciful God, then he should answer in a language I can understand. It really doesn't do much good to answer in a way that I CAN'T understand, eh?
No response is no response. Nothing is nothing. Silence is silence.
If I'm suppose to take the silence, the nothing, and interpret it as an answer... That's just ME coming up with an answer! I can do that without having prayed in the first place!
This isn't even a matter of "not getting the answer I wanted." It's a matter of not receiving ANY answer, ever.
I prayed for years, and years, and years. And I have never received a response. God has never "enlightened me" or "revealed the answer through circumstance", or "shown me the way". It's just day after day, year after year, of me talking to the wall and then walking away and figuring it out myself.
So I quit praying.
I simply can't continue to engage in conversing if I'm the only one contributing to the discourse. I can't continue to go through life praying to a God who either isn't listening, or is just ignoring me. (That's what it's called when you receive no response. It's called being ignored.)
If this is all just a matter of me on my own, interpretting the events of my life, and then me on my own, making the best decision I can with the information I have, then why bother asking for guidance and answers?
It makes me sad really. I'm sad that my God ignores me. It makes me tearfully walk away saying "I really wanted to have a relationship with you, but you haven't spoken to me in 34 years, and I finally have to just let go."
Comments (12)
I am not sure where I got this quote, but I have always liked it. I have always had a problem with this idea that prayer moves God on our behave. I have found God to always be a giver. And if I am not receiving, then it's my receiver that is broken. Prayer is what should move ME into a position to receive from God. And not the other way around. I just don't understand all this name it, claim it theology that is out there. Sure it takes faith to make prayer work. But it is faith in God, not our ability to get what we want from Him. Faith in faith is no faith at all.
I know you probably don't like this answer. There are many times that I don't like it either. And the next 2 things are not going to make you feel much better, but please bear with me.
God only gives us what we can handle. If He knows that having a million dollars drop in my lap would probably get me into all kinds of touble, and I might not survive, then He is probably not going to give it to me. "Be careful what you wish for, cause it just might happen." is something to give some thought.
God will not give us an answer if He knows we will not accept it. God expects us to obey Him. And if He knows we will not do what He asks, then why should He tell us anything. Forgiveness is the hardest thing for me here. How do I expect God to hear my prayer for forgiveness, when I refuse to forgive others.
Now having said all that, I want to say that I also believe God loves us. The best way I can think of Him as the most perfect parent. One that would love to give us everything we want, but knows better.
There is a story in the bible about a guy named Jacob who has a wrestling match with God and gets a major blessing out of it(Genesis 32:24-30). He refused to let God go until God blessed him. In Luke, chapter 18, Jesus tells a story with a similar theme. A woman that would not give up, and her finally getting what she was after.
God will not ignore us forever. However, He does want us to exercise our faith in Him and believe in Him as we would believe in a loving father. One that we have all the faith in the world that He will come through. Not often the exact way we wanted. But always in a way, that will work out best on our behalf. Even if we don't see it at the time.
He calls us to believe, and then live like we do.
I will pray that this helps in some way, and then I will pray for you some more.
we will always come to the end of ourselves
this is too tentacled to get into
but i am curious as to her proclamation of faith last night
wait that mighta been another gal
anyway self sufficiency is great to a pont
im glad i have changed
if you ever wanna talk mouse girl
i think you know i like you
and of course i will just listen if thats youre request
maybe this is a crisis of faith and will shift again
good to be talking about it i think
and i share my experience strength and hope more than scripture
its what i can share best...
I get a lot of 'no's myself.
I can see and feel the presence of God all around me anywhere I am. He has saved my life on many occasions when I should have died. I have seen His intervention in so many ways in all areas of life.
Often, we want what we want when we want it. I can look back at my life and remember praying for many things that I can see now that would not have been right for me. I am thankful that I did not get all things I have prayed for in my life. God knew better than me.
In terms of sparing someone's life, we have to remember that death is not a bad thing to happen to us. It is a transformation to another state of being. Again, God knows when it is time.
We need to make the most of what we do have. We don't do anything alone or on our own. We have parents, teachers, brothers and sisters, friends, coworkers, police, and many others that help exist in this world. We did not get here on our own. We don't live totally independent of others. Some woman gave birth to you. Someone gave of their time and energy to help you grow up and become the person you are today. God gives you the strength to go on and conquer life. Sometimes, we need to get angry to accomplish what we need to accomplish. Through adversity come the greatest achievement. Maybe, it isn't even about you. Maybe someone else needs to see you overcome obstacles to give them encouragement. Others do learn how to live by watching us. Do you have children? Do you have other small children in your family? Someone is watching you. Someone wants to be just like you.
Have faith. God hears. God cares. I know. I've lived it for 54 years.
and remember when life is at it's darkess that is when we can truely appreciate the strength of the light.
One is one's own protector,
one is one's own refuge.
Therefore, one should control oneself,
even as a trader controls a noble steed.
Make an island of yourself,
make yourself your refuge;
there is no other refuge.
Make Dhamma your island,
make Dhamma your refuge;
there is no other refuge.
I asked God once for "understanding" at a terrible time in my life. There are many times I regret that prayer was answered. Good Luck.
That's all pretty special. Those that can't would consider any that i mentioned above is a true blessings...
Blain
Prayer is not just asking God for things, and recording His answers to build faith. The deepest understanding of prayer is knowing that its purpose is to build relationship. God doesn't ask us to pray so that He can give us what we want; He asks us to pray so that we draw closer to Him, build a relationship with Him, and live our lives closely united with Him.
I have had much of the same frustration as you experience, of important prayers seemingly never answered, but I have also had prayers that did indeed seem to be answered, in a most yes, miraculous ways. I cannot prove to skeptics that He answered them, but they come into my life like little lights and gifts when I'm not sure of the outcome.
Don't give up God...if you have reasons to believe in Him other than your frustrations with prayer. Learn more about prayer and relationship...that's what it's really all about.