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Last Update on Chloe

R.I.P.
Chloe Belle Day
April 5, 2006 - November 24, 2008

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Chloe passed at about 4:20 this afternoon. We buried her on a friend's brother's property (see above pic - the circle is where her grave is). She has a nice view and is buried next to Sammie-girl, my friend's cat. Not getting into details, but the process was very quick and smooth, even though I couldn't stop crying.

Sofie is doing very well. I think she already knew days ago that Chloe was going to die. It is so empty in my apartment now. Everywhere I look, I can see a memory of her. She may not have been human, but I still just lost and buried my 2 1/2 yr old daughter. I feel numb.

Thanks to everyone for the comments and emails. They have been comforting.
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Update on Chloe #3

We have an appointment at 3:45 today, just an hour from now, to have Chloe put to sleep. A friend's brother has 4 acres in the next town and he's gonna let us bury her there with his other animals. It's on a hillside, so she'll have a great view. :) We're burying her with her blankie, her teeny-sardiney toy, and her stinky & jojo mice.

It's hard to believe I'm making all these burial plans when she's still alive. I feel like a traitor. My biggest fear is that afterwards I'll find out that she still had a chance to live a long, healthy life if I could've gotten her a shot or medicine or something.

I know this will get better. I know this is best, and that each day will hurt less. It's just hard to think of that now.
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Update on Chloe

A few people have been asking, and making a blog is easier than emailing the same info to different people.

Background info: This past Tuesday, my kitty Chloe started dry heaving, which is her typical sign of a hairball. She was still doing this on Wednesday, so I gave her a dose of Hartz Hairball Remedy. That night she started drooling, which is supposedly just a side effect of the Hartz. Her face twitched for a few seconds, but then she was fine, so I let it pass as just part of the side effect.

Thursday (my birthday) I was at work when Mom called me at 3pm panicking to tell me that Chloe had just had a seizure. We rushed her to the vet, who gave her a physical and blood test. The physical showed nothing wrong. The blood test showed she was dehydrated and her white blood cells were slightly low. Basically, there was nothing they could pinpoint to tell us what was wrong. She said a hairball couldn't cause a seizure, and that Chloe would need an MRI to check for brain disease or a tumor. She also suggested a heart test since Chloe's heart murmur never healed up like the last vet told us it would.

We got her home and all was fine for about 2 hours. Then suddenly, Sofie (my other cat) started hiding and hissing at everyone and did this all night long. She's stopped now and we think she was just afraid of "being next." But she still refuses to get near Chloe.

Chloe late Friday night started a new pattern. Now, she'll start drooling and face twitching (it almost looks like she's just trying to stop the drooling), then she'll get freaked out and bolt around like crazy into walls, furniture, in the sink, etc to a spot like a corner or behind some books, or under a table and start dry heaving and more drooling. Then she'll start yowling like she's losing her voice, and then start crying normally.

It is heart-breaking to watch and I haven't slept in 3 days. Every time I close my eyes, I think I hear her and jump up to check on her. When we're gone and at night, we keep her in the stroller. This keeps her safe from running into stuff and hurting herself. She almost jumped on the stove into a pot of boiling water this evening. But still she fights and tries to run in there.

Earlier today, she did have a second seizure right after an "attack". I held her as she went through and came out of it. After all these episodes, she returns to her normal self and wants to eat and play.

I have started putting vaseline on the top of her front paws just like the vet suggested, and now the "attacks" are happening much more frequently. I'm hoping it is just a hairball, and the vaseline is working to try and get it up.

If I lose her, I'll probably lose my mind. An MRI is just not possible right now. I would do anything in the world for her, but the cost is totally out of my reach.

So tomorrow (today?) will likely be more of the same. Will give her more vaseline and pray a hairball comes up and Chloe gets back to normal.

sigh
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Update on Chloe #2 - Sad News

Today Chloe had yet another massive seizure, plus a bunch of other small ones. She nearly pulled her back claws out, too. It seems everyday it gets worse and worse. With this seizure, she lost control of her bladder and was blind for about 5 minutes afterward. There is no way this is being caused by a hairball. Right now, we are down to a brain tumor or epilepsy. If it's epilepsy, then it's really bad, and I cannot afford the medicine for her. And then there's no guarantee it'd make her better.

This is the hardest thing in the world for me, but I've decided the best thing for her is to have her put to sleep. She spends all day crying and yowling, and hiding. She is not happy anymore. I love her so much, and my heart feels like it's been ripped out of my chest. I love her so much that I can't stand the thought of loosing her, but I also love her too much to watch her suffer.

We will likely have to do this tomorrow. I will post another update then.

crying
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