Poetry

This is a poem I wrote about my bestest girlfriend who died my tenth day in rehab. Her death left an empty gaping hole in my soul! Even though I have been trying to block it out and not think about it. She left me late on the night of August 9th, 2006. I sat looking out a window at the lights on the mountains, smoking and bawling like a baby until about 5am that morning. I wrote this in her memory as one of the best people to ever enter my life slipped away.

A Love Forever Lost

As I sit at the window staring out at the lights
I'm so depressed cause I know it's gonna be another long and lonely night
I just lost my last and only true friend
All I can wonder is why such a beautiful life had to end
I used to think that jonesing for drugs was the worst thing in the world
But now I'd give back every drug I ever did just to have back my girl
I've been clean and sober for ten straight days
No drugs to ease the pain so it wont go away
Together we walked, talked, laughed and even cried
I only wish it could have been me instead of her that died
God may have a plan but I damn sure dont understand
Maybe he knows what I'm strong enough to take
He must have known that my death would have made her break
I wrote her a poem in the form of a song
Called the hospital to sing it to her over the phone
Now only I can hear her last laugh, I alone
I almost waited because I didnt want her to hear how my heart cried
Now I thank God I didnt wait because the next day she died
Now I'm left here to suffer by myself
My love will spend a long time on a shelf
Because I could walk many a mile
But never find another woman who could match her smile
How can I ever love again?
Our love was so pure and true it would seem like a sin
For a very long time I'll wander this earth
Wondering if I'll ever have the heart for another wife, home or hearth
If you had ever looked into her beautiful sparkling eyes
You wouldnt wonder why I would have rather it have been me to die
Her smile was like a ray of sunshine breaking through the clouds on a cold winter day
WHY OH WHY God did you have to take her away?
All this was nothing compared to her beauty inside
That's why along with her a part of me died
Maybe God knew her soul was to good for these people
So He took her home to His love and His steeple
My love for her was true
But maybe God needed her beauty too!

Everyone thought we had a strange relationship. But other than children, this the closest to unconditional love that either one of us ever had. I'm pretty sure I'll never get over this loss completely!

My dearest darlin, I hope that wherever you are you can see what I have written here for you. I hope I will live a life that is worthy of having known you and that you can be proud of me for. I want you to know it was my greatest honor to have known you!