Words

This week has brought about a thought that has been bouncing around in my head. Are words really harmless?

I take the phrase “I love you” as an example. I think I can use this example here without a problem.

For longer than I dare, or care, to remember, people I’ve known have longed for those three little words as if it was the end all to the sadness inside. Once they gain those three words it has appeared as if the entire universe shifted, and suddenly the person is on cloud nine. I concede that this is the good part of language; the exchange of feelings, or the closeness of souls. Yet, once this ends, it seems that those three words were suddenly lies, and are the result of so much suffering. The person afflicted goes through emotional turmoil.

Words, once left, can never be reclaimed. There is not enough time in a lifetime to say “sorry” enough to make amends for the damage done by a word. For example, step on a toe…”Sorry about that, I wasn’t paying attention,” the pain goes away and all is well. Tell your child, “I hate you,” they remember for life.

If we claim to be so sensitive and empathetic, then why do we turn to words to hurt another when physical violence is out of the question. Proof lies in the enormous verbal fights people have with a spouse, friend, or lover. Fingers are pointed, names are called, one insult creates a worse insult, and items from the past, which should have been forgotten, are suddenly remembered. The aftermath only leaves the collateral damage of shredded hearts, feelings, and in worst cases, blood lying on the floor waiting to be swept or mopped up.

I’m no more innocent than the next. In fact, I apologized to a student for telling him or her to “shut up.” Even though it might have been warranted, do I really want to close that door? I could have used something a little less harsh. What damage did I do from that one phrase when I know that there is nothing that can be done to take the words back?

The worst word, in my opinion, in the language isn’t a curse word. I think the worst word in the language is “stupid.” Drop the f-bomb on a child from birth and all you get is a child who learned his/her first cuss word, or possibly a confused state as to what his or her name is. Call a child stupid from birth, and you have one who believes they are with little self-esteem and psychological damage that amounts to the destructive force of a super volcano.

What do I know though. Maybe words really are harmless. Maybe I’m the one too sensitive to the contexts in which people use their language.