what to do......

*sigh* I feel so, unappreciated. I try my hardest to make everyone happy, and in the end, its never good enough. I did everything in my power to make my ex husband happy. I guess it never was good enough if he wanted to "get to know" other females. He still begs and begs for me back, I can't bring myself to love someone who had the intentions of hurting me. He always asks me "how do you hide your pain so well?" you know what I say? "Just put on a pretty smile and pretend every thing's okay" I try not to let everything that has happen within the last few months affect me but, its just too hard. I'm only 18 [almost 19] and I'm going through stuff that I am not ready for. The divorce, and starting my entire life over from scratch. I try to move on, and go back to an old flame, (well, its not so much "flame" but thats a different story) but who knows where that will end up, its not going so good right now. Its hard to stay positive when all of this is happening. I stay up at night, and I wonder how I'm going to work it out. Maybe I should have a little more faith.....who knows.